If I Lay Here {Book 1} - Grey's Anatomy AU

Break on Through

Season 2, Episode 15:  Break on Through
Overall Episode Number:  24
Created by:  Shonda Rhimes

/ / /

In surgery there is a red line on the floor that marks the point where the hospital goes from being accessible to being off limits to all but a special few. Crossing the line unauthorized is not tolerated. In general, lines are there for a reason. For safety. For security. For clarity. If you choose to cross the line, you pretty much do so at your own risk. So why is it... the bigger the line, the greater the temptation to cross it?

- Meredith Grey

/ / /

Mackenzie felt smushed in between Derek and Addison as they walked to the hospital's entrance. The nurses had gone on strike, and were making it almost impossible for surgeons to walk in the hospital.

The neurosurgeon and neonatal surgeon were doing their best to protect Mackenzie from any objects that the nurses might decide to throw at them.

The walk into the hospital seemed to be long, but as soon as they entered the hospital, Mackenzie broke free from the hold she was in. She didn't know how long the nurses would be on strike, but she did not want to go through that again.

Mackenzie didn't like being squished.

/ / /

Meredith is wandering down the hallway. Derek comes up to her, with Mackenzie following him. "Hey."

"Hey," Meredith says in reply.

"Hi," Mackenzie greets.

"Hello." Meredith greets back.

"Your dog's fine." Derek tells her.

Meredith smiles somewhat sadly. "He's your dog now."

"Hmm."

Meredith sighs. "I miss him."

Derek nods and is about to speak but Addison comes up and interrupts. "He misses you too. You should come visit." Meredith looks uncomfortable. Addison chuckles. "The dog, I mean."

"I'm walking away now." Meredith walks off.

Addison turns and faces Derek. "So um, I'm looking for a neurosurgeon to consult on a fetal spinal tumor. You know anybody good?"

Derek chuckles.

Mackenzie smiles and takes a step back from them. "I'm walking away now. I'm gonna find someone to hang out with."

/ / /

"I'm sorry! I did not see you there. You shouldn't be wandering around the hospital; let's get you back to peds."

Mackenzie had no reaction time, because she was currently being dragged down the corridor by Sydney Heron.

"I'm not a patient; I'm here because my father and stepmom are at work. Will you please let go?"

Sydney released Mackenzie's arm. "I'm sorry about that. I'm Sydney; what's your name?"

"Mackenzie Shepherd-Sloan," Mackenzie replied. She was still wigged out by Sydney.

"Shepherd. I recognize that name. My stars, you're Derek Shepherd's daughter!" Sydney realized.

Mackenzie nodded slowly. "Yes, I am. It was nice to meet you, Sydney, but I gotta go; I'm going to eat lunch with my father. Can't talk, gotta to, bye!"

Mackenzie walked into an empty elevator and closed the doors before Sydney had a chance to say something else.

"No one's that cheery and happy in a hospital."

/ / /

Mackenzie sat down with Derek in the cafeteria, a distant look in her eyes.

Derek saw the look, and he put a hand to her forehead. "Are you okay, sweetheart? Do you not feel good?"

Mackenzie took Derek's hand and put it on the table. "I'm fine, Papa. Really, I am. I just... I met Sydney Heron earlier. She thought I was a peds patient."

"And that's bad because...?"

"She's too cheery and happy to be working in a hospital. No one's that cheery. People that chipper make me nervous," Mackenzie answered.

Derek chuckled and kissed her head. "Sweetie, it's okay. You won't have to worry about Sydney for a while. She's filling in for Bailey while she's on bed rest."

"Sydney's filling in for Dr. Bailey? I'd love to see Cristina's face right now. Cristina Yang doesn't do happy."

/ / /

Mackenzie wandered around the hospital, until she saw her brother. "George! I didn't see you this morning. Where were you?"

George turned around, looking at his little sister. "I'm a union guy."

"You do know that I still love you, union guy or not, right?" Mackenzie questioned.

George chuckled. "Of course I know that, Ellie. What are you doing, roaming the halls?"

"I'm trying to find something to do... and I'm avoiding Sydney Heron," Mackenzie answered.

"Who's Sydney Heron?"

Mackenzie grimaced. "The fourth year resident that's filling in for Dr. Bailey. She's too chipper, and she mistook me for a peds patient."

George stifled a laugh. "Wow. She sounds horrible."

"I'm already wishing for Dr. Bailey to come back. It's that bad."

/ / /

Meredith is exiting out of the room, almost in tears and looking like she's having difficulty breathing. Derek, from afar, notices Meredith who has her back to him and is about to walk up to her. He looks confused as she rushes into the nearest linen closet.

In the interior of the linen closet, Meredith is sitting down taking large gulping breaths. It seems like she's almost hyperventilating. Derek enters and looks concerned when he sees her. Meredith starts to cry as he crouches down next to her.

"I don't. I can't. I can't. I don't want. I don't. I can't. I don't. I don't want my mother to die alone." Meredith cried.

Derek just continues to look on, comfortingly and concerned. "Slow down. Just slow down. Shh. Slow deep breaths now. Slow deep breaths." Derek whispered.

Meredith just continues to cry and breathe difficultly. Derek stands up and reaches above Meredith's head. He pulls down a white paper bag and hands it to Meredith. "Here. Take it easy. Slow down. Slow down," he says in a calm and quiet voice.

Meredith breathes into the bag. She takes one of his hands in hers and holds onto it tightly. Her breathing slows down and she stops crying. She rests her head against Derek's shoulder. Derek brings up his other free arm around her and holds her and rests his head against hers. Meredith pulls away the bag and eventually sits up. "I'm okay."

Derek smiles. "You're okay."

She wipes a tear away and Derek brushes the hair away from her face.

"Thank you." Meredith thanked.

"You're welcome."

They stare into each other's eyes for a long time, almost as if they might kiss. Meredith breaks the moment by looking away. She gets up and walks out leaving Derek sitting in the closet by himself.

/ / /

We can't help ourselves. We see a line. We want to cross it. Maybe it's the thrill of trading the familiar for the unfamiliar. A sort of personal dare. Only problem is once you've crossed it's almost impossible to go back. But, if you do manage to make it back across that line. You find safety in numbers.

- Meredith Grey

/ / /

1156 words

Next Update:  It's The End of The World

*There wasn't a lot of content for this chapter, but I still liked writing it. Even Mackenzie can't take Sydney's cheery and happy demeanor.*

Published:  3/02/2021