THE JOCK JUST WANTS THE NERD [2]

51

||JACKSON||

Neither of us moved an each for half a minute. Though I wasn't scared at all actually; seen this coming for a while but not so early and unexpected. It was anticipated, and the yet adrenaline kept me from backing down. "Dude..." Damian frowned, his expression softens as he held onto my notebook.

"What do you think of me?"

For a moment, he looks at me straight in the eyes and places my journal back on the desk neatly before sitting down on the edge of his bed. A sigh escapes his mouth, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, "I don't hate you Jack, nor am I grossed out."

I blinked, but it was so sudden for his acceptance that I couldn't believe him for a second. I leered at him though he held the same form of concern. He must have picked out that I wasn't convinced, so he motioned me closer and patted the spot next to him. Raising a brow, my head tilted with confusion. He waited for me to settle beside him. Grunting, I complied and did so. Now, here we are on his bed with him glancing down at his folded palms. "Can I... tell you a story?"

"What?" I murmured.

"Your reaction, it's understandable, and I'm sorry for making you feel that way...

...back at Topstar, I was notorious for playing football. Hanging out with other guys, we had this certain behavior that we always portrayed. It was all fun and games until we got older, our personalities became bitter. Though I didn't throw any punches and get involved with fights, I did use the f word a lot. Looking back at it now, I cursed myself for acting so immature. I even called poor Noah that word out of stupid annoyance."

Damian shakes his head, grimacing at his memories, "at the time, I didn't realize the karma that would come along with it. There was a music concert that was held at our school auditorium. I came along because wondered if Noah would be there so I could apologize to him. But the day before that, I was in my room minding my own business when the sound of arguing burst downstairs in the living room. Heading towards it, I first saw my two other brothers by the end of the steps, watching in horror, 'what's going on?' I said. They didn't reply, but just stayed quiet and witnessed the loud scene full of yelling and sobs. Worried, I peered over to the middle of the room and saw my sister and dad screaming at the top of their lungs while my mother stood beside my youngest brother who seems to be in tears. 'Dad stop!' My sister intercepted with arms outwards in defense.

My father has his fist curled while the other held a phone, 'what are these messages, are you saying you have a boyfriend, Michael?' He was infuriated. The screen presented towards my brother, making sure everyone tried to get the picture. I didn't know exactly what was happening, it was so confusing and out of nowhere. Just then, Dad started stomping forward as he tossed the device away. He pushed my sister aside and raised a hand. With wide eyes, I quickly bolted over and reached out to take hold of his potential hit. 'Dad, what are you doing?' I said with disbelief.

'I'm teaching this boy a damn lesson!' He glared.

'Henry! Enough of this!' My mom retorted as she comforted my crying brother. Dad was hardly angry, and never have I thought he would get physical to any of us, especially towards my youngest brother.

'Our boy has been messaging a faggot! Are you not mad about this Mary?' He gestured at his son in front of him who flinched.

The word struck me in the head. This was the first time I've ever heard it in such a forceful and raging way. Soon, Michael rushed out of my mother's grasped and passed by my two other brothers from the stairs. The sound of thumping feet went across the hall on the second floor until a big door slam was heard. The household was silent and none of us made a gesture. Just like how we couldn't move a while ago, Jack," Damian's brows furrowed with sadness.

My mouth stuttered as I listened with intensity. A shiver ran up my spine, "w-what happened after?"

"After the fight died down, Mom handled Dad privately in the kitchen while us siblings idled together. Then, I went up to check on Michael and stood just outside his bedroom door. From there, I could hear the muffled groans and agonized weeping through the walls. The sound of it stung me on my heart. Giving a little knock, 'Michael?' My voice was faint but soon the noise faded. Moments later, he opens up to his room, eyes red along with his cheeks. It hurt me to see my little brother look so distraught, 'may I come in?' I asked. He stifles a sniff as he stepped aside. Heading in, we both sat down on the edge of his bed. He hunched over, hands and toes fumbled in discomfort. I confronted carefully, 'Can we talk about that? I'm worried because I don't know.'

Michael winces with a staggering voice, 'I-I can't' he broke down.

I pulled him to a hug as I felt the warmth of his tears on my chest. I couldn't bear to hear him like this, my throat felt sore, 'P-please Michael.'

Moments later after calming down, his head hung low, and avoided my gaze, 'would you be angry like Dad... If I told you," he gasps out, wiping away the stream from the corners of his eyes. I shook my head and promised him that I would never lash out as he said. Entrusting me, he spoke out,

...

'I'm gay Damian'

With that, my eyes widened at and I felt my hands shaking. Staring down at my fingers, I reached out the Michael and embraced him tightly once more, 'I'm sorry, Michael. I-I'm so sorry..."