I'm Sorry (RanbooxReader)

Part 1: The Beginning

*T.W* CHECK DESCRIPTION
*Car accident and alcohol involved in story*

Y/N POV

"Thank you guys so much for all of the subs and follows. Y'all mean so much to me. Let's raid..." I look through the list of who's live. "Philza Minecraft. Go give Dadza some love. Bye, chat!"

I turn the stream off and let out a sigh. Streaming takes so much out of me. I have to fake a smile and laugh for the chat so that they don't catch on.

When I first started streaming, I was happy. Hell, I loved chat. But things have gone... downhill lately. School has been rough. I have an overwhelming amount of work. And my dad expects me to do everything or else bad things happen.

It probably wouldn't be this bad if my family had never gotten into a car accident. I was streaming the night that it happened. My mom, dad, and sister all went to the store for groceries, but they were in a crash caused by some bitch who ran a red light. My mom and sister didn't make it since the person hit the passenger side. My dad was the only one who made it out.

Tears prick my eyes as I think back on it. It's been six months since it happened. And I wish they could both be alive, even if it means that I was the one to die.

Suddenly, my discord starts ringing. I see that Ranboo is requesting to talk. I take a deep breath and answer.

"Hey, Y/N. I'm streaming," he says in a happy tone. Oh, how I wish I was still happy.

"Hi, Ranboo and Ranboo's stream!" I try to make it sound like I'm excited, but it's so hard.

"So, I'm going to stream Jackbox in like 10 minutes. You're welcome to join."

"Alright, I'll be there."

"Great. I'll add you to the other vc."

"Okay. Bye." Ranboo adds me to the other one, and I go downstairs to refill my water.

I'm about to walk back up when I hear a car door slam. This can only mean one thing. My father is home. I instantly start to shake. I should run up to my room, but my legs won't move. The front door opens, and I can already smell the alcohol on him.

His eyes are bloodshot, and his thinning hair is a mess. He spots me and walks over. "Did you make me dinner?" He slurs.

Oh, shit. I forgot. I can't believe I fucking forgot. "N-no. I forgot. I'm sorry, sir."

His face morphs into one of anger. He brings his hand back and slaps me across the face. I fall to the ground and he sends kicks into my sides. "Worthless piece of shit. You're useless. Absolutely useless. You should have been the one to die. You're sister was so much better than you!"

I just sit there and try to block the kicks as much as possible. When he finally stops, I grab my water and make my way up the stairs. It's painful, but I'm used to it by now. Once I'm out of his sight, I let some stray tears fall. I can't cry in front of him because the beatings would only get worse. So I let it all out when he can't see me.

I limp into my room, but I'm met with a shocked Wilbur on my screen. I notice that my mic is unmuted, but luckily, my camera is off. "What the hell was that, Y/N? Are you okay?" He looks so concerned, but he doesn't care.

My hands start shaking violently, and my voice is wavering. "I'm fine, Wilbur. It's nothing."

"It didn't sound like nothing. Are you being ab-" He's cut off by Tommy and Tubbo joining the call.

Tommy starts his usual banter with Wilbur, and I could never be more thankful for Tommy. I just listen to the conversation. I don't trust my voice enough to talk without breaking yet.

Soon, everyone is on the vc. Its me, Ranboo, Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, Sapnap, George, and Dream. Ranboo starts Quiplash, and it's very funny. But I can't seem to enjoy it. Wilbur also seems out of sorts, but I don't think much of it. After about an hour and a half of Quiplash and Mad Verse City, I have to log off.

"Hey, Ranboo. I have to leave. I'm getting pretty tired."

"I also have to go." Wilbur states.

Everyone says their goodbyes, and I feel relieved. I'm not under constant eyes anymore. But that can only last for so long.

My phone lights up and starts ringing loudly. "Fhck, shit." I scramble to turn it down. If my father hears this.. I answer the phone. "What?"

"Can you turn on your camera please?"

"Wilbur, why would I do that? It's late, and I'm quite tired."

"Please, Y/N. I know what I heard earlier."

"I had a movie on in the background. I'm really okay."

"Then why won't you turn your camera on? You had it on during your stream earlier today."

"I- Um, I have to go. I have school in the morning, and I really shouldn't be staying up. Goodnight." I hang up on him and silence my phone.

I lay down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. I wish I could sleep easily, but that's a struggle for me. Whenever I'm asleep, visions of my mom and sister plague my mind. But then, my dad obstructs them. He would tower over me with his belt while the image of my mom fades away.

My breathing starts to speed up, and my hands start shaking. I try to ground myself, but it just isn't working. I rummage in my bedside table for my blade. The shiny and cool glint of metal catches my blurry eyes. Pressing it to my skin, I start cutting.

13 cuts later, I feel better. My breathing has calmed down, and I can see clearly. My hands are still shaking, but not as badly as before. I make my way to my bathroom and run my arm under the water from the faucet. Then, I dry it off and wrap some bandages around it.

*The Next Day*

I'm just sitting at my computer when I get a call from the one and only Dream. "Y/N!"

"Dream!"

"We're going to have a meet-up next week, and we were wondering if you want to come. Because your summer break starts in a couple days, right?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Awesome. I'll send you the details."

"Okay." I head downstairs cautiously to ask my dad. I see that he's watching the 2009 Superbowl where the Steelers won against the Cardinals. So, he's in one of his good moods.

"Sir, may I ask a question."

"Go ahead." Thankfully, his words aren't slurred for once.

"My friends wanted to meet-up next week and stay at a cabin for little bit. Is it alright if I go?"

"Fine, but you better come back."

"Thank you, I will." I run back to my room with the hint of a smile on my face.

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A/N: I love the DreamSMP.