My Opposite, But Not Really

17: The Crush

-Alexis-
We're sitting in our room, everyone else is off on a trip to see a waterfall, and we're stuck here. At lease I have Dk here, or else I'd probably be hurting myself now. I look up to see him on his bed, and he's already looking at me. I get flustered and look away quickly. "Ali, I have... A serious question." He says, sounding actually scared. Which is unusual for him because I'm usually the scared one.

"D-did I do something wrong?" I ask. He smiles his bright smile that he always does and shakes his head. "No of course not, I just want to talk to you about something." I nod sitting up straighter and listen to him. "What... What's your opinion on... Um sexuality." He looks away from me, at the ground.

"What are you?" I ask out of curiosity. He might want to tell me what he is, that's why he's afraid. "What's your sexuality?" I ask again. "Um... Are you going to hate me? You don't seem like the type but I just don't want to be judged by my best friend." He asks. "Of course not, I'm open about anything." I smile at him.

"O-okay... I'm bisexual." He admits, sighing. He looks almost ashamed. I get out of my bed and go over to his. I sit behind him and hug him from behind. "It's alright, of course I accept you. I never told anyone but I'm gay. It was hard until I learned to love who I was. I didn't find girls attractive and I found guys much more interesting." I admit, spilling my feelings.

"I couldn't accept myself at first, but I realized it didn't matter, I'm still me! No one else can change my feelings so there's no point in denying them. I like men, and that's okay. And it's okay if you like girls and boys." I hug him tighter. "When did you realize? Like what age?" He asks me.

"Recently. My girlfriend broke up with me and I didn't mind as much as I should've. I don't think I liked her in that way. Then I started liking guys and I couldn't see girls the same way again. I never had a relationship with a guy but I had attraction to a few. That's about it." I admit. "S-sorry if this is inappropriate to ask... But do you find me attractive..." He asks sighing.

"You-um... I suppose. I don't know. Your nice looking and smart and everything I want in a guy. You may think I'm w-weird for saying it but yes, I'm attracted to you." I hug his back tighter. "I think about you s-sometimes... In ways that I've never thought of another guy before. I think... I may like you." He says. My heart skips at least three beats, then speeds the fuck up. My face is probably completely red and you can probably hear my heartbeat from outside.

"R-really?" I ask. "Yes really. Is it so strange that I find you attractive?" He giggles a bit. "I...I'm ugly and skinny and I hurt myself and-" "I don't care about any of that. That isn't you that's just your flaws that make you, you. I happen to like your flaws as well, by the way. Your not ugly and you have a fit, dare I say good looking body. Your self harm isn't something I like but it's there, and I'ma be there to help you through it." He says, slightly sad at the way I talk about myself. "I like you. Not just for your looks either." He sighs.

"You have so much to offer, your such a good person and I could go on and on listing reasons but maybe another time." He giggles. "O-okay." Is all I can say. "I just... I'm c-closeted from everyone and I'm not ready to come o-out. You might not be either but if you are then I'm not." I say. "I'm not ready either, I'm still trying to figure myself out and such. But maybe we could... Be a secret thing?" He suggests. "Like in a bit, once we're ready." He adds.

"Okay... But like official?" I can't help but ask. "Maybe unofficial for now, ya know? We could be together but be open to other options or something." He suggests. I finally release him from my arms, though I liked hugging him my heart hurts at the thought of someone else having him. What if he likes them more? All I do is nod. "Your okay with that, right?" He double checks. "S-s-sure..." Dammit now he'll know somethings up.

He raises an eyebrow. "You don't want an open relationship, do you?" He asks me. "If i-it's what you w-want I-I don't have a ch-choice." I sigh, getting off his bed, feeling like I don't belong there anymore, and going to my own. "I didn't say I wanted it to be like that forever... Just for a bit, okay." He sighs. I just nod, feelings like if I say anything he'll hear my crying. Luckily it's dark and nighttime so he can't see me but I have to cry into my hands. Then I came to the realization... I won't be sleeping tonight.

-Dakota-
I know he's crying... I can hear him sniffle every few minutes. I sigh, sitting up from my sleeping position, not that I can sleep knowing I just broke his heart. "Alexis." I half whisper. He sniffs once again and hums. "I um... Come here." I say. "N-no." He says, he's barely breathing. "Please, I can comfort you." I beg. He hesitates before getting up and walking over, just standing by my bed.

I pat the spot next to me, signaling him to sit down. He probably doesn't want to but he sits anyways. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make you cr-" "I-I'm not." He sighs. "I could hear your sniffles. I'm so sorry Ali..." I admit. "I-it's okay y-your n-not re-ready." He says in between sobs but I can tell he's trying not to cry. "Shh, lay down please." I reach my arm out and pull him into me. "I-I le-left Mr. Nuggie a-at ho-home. I-I won't sl-sleep." He's stuttering worse. I hope he isn't scared of me or anything.

"Sleep here, I don't mind one bit. Even if your uncomfortable with the idea of it, which I can tell you are, what other option do you have besides no sleep. Plus, we can cuddle, which will relax both of us and help you get used to me." I say. Honestly I'm an asshole. He likes me and I completely brushed it off like nothing. His trust is a valuable thing and I lost it... I don't even want an open thing, I want him but I don't know if either of us are ready.

"Okay..." He sighs, turning his back to me while laying down. "H-hole me?" He asks, all cutely like he does. I, of course, obliged, wrapping my arms around his small body once again. "I want you." I admit. "Not anyone else. But are you ready for that?" I ask. He's silent for a minute and I think 'is it possible to fall asleep in ten seconds?' but then he says. "We-*yawn* we'll ta-talk tomorrow, kay?" He asks. I nod, putting my face into his warm back before drifting off.