At one point in our lives, we all have to go on a long journey to figure out who we truly are and to find ourselves.
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Park Jimin is the passionate and talented main dancer and lead vocal of the worldwide famous and successful boy gr...
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𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐀
The morning light only dully shone on the scenery when I left the house as clouds were hiding the sun behind their stormy bodies. Clouded was also my mind as negative thoughts were filling it because I would visit my mother today. Of course, I wanted to see her again, hoping that she had made progress and her condition had improved since my last visit to the hospital. But at the same time, I felt uneasy just at the thought of just coming into her room where she would stare at the ceiling apathetically, not sensing my presence and unable to recognize me as her only daughter. In the lost, confused, and broken parts of her destructed mind, she would think of me as a stranger, mirroring the way she appeared unfamiliar to me just as much.
Once, she had been my loving and caring mum, who had worked hard to help me grow up safely, giving me the best cuddles in the world and making hot chocolate whenever I was feeling down. But as the tumor progressed, it was as if her life force was getting sucked out of her, only leaving the shell behind, condemning my mother to exist without feeling, without perceiving anything. Even though they tried multiple therapies, the doctors weren't able to do anything to improve her condition, making me spiral into devastating despair and hopelessness as I didn't want her to leave the world, to leave me.
Adequately anxious I was when I got into Mrs. Lee's car, only shooting her a small, forced smile when I put on my seatbelt and then crossing my arms in front of my chest in an attempt to keep myself warm. Of course, my lovely neighbor knew why I was down as I behaved every Thursday like that, which was the reason why she didn't remark anything and just tried to cheer me up with her usual bubbly personality. With sparkling eyes, she told me about her husband, who had built a rocking chair for her on his own, and the new puppy they had recently got after their old one had died a few months ago.
"My crazy husband has called him Beethoven!" she laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. "I don't know why- the pup doesn't resemble any composer the slightest bit, nor does my husband even listen to classical music; he rather just putters around in his workshop!"
Giggling amusedly, she threw me a glance, making me quickly pull up the corners of my lips to show her a reaction, even though I hadn't paid attention to what she had said as my mind was too occupied with worries.
"You have to visit us soon to see Beety! You'd really like him; he's such a lovely Shiba Inu! He still needs some training, though; he can't control his energy and keeps knocking over stuff."
With a nod, I hummed absently, wanting to make it seem as if I was actively listening to her words. After all, Mrs. Lee was kindly trying everything possible to cheer me up and keep my mind from my desperate thoughts, and I appreciated her for that.
Work passed by rather quickly, making it even worse for me as I felt like I couldn't mentally prepare myself properly before I had to face the shell that my mother once had lived in. Time seemed to get ripped from its usual behavior of steadily and slowly moving, now forced to run fast without halting, making the world pass by in a blur. As soon as Areum had arrived, she had cheerfully initiated a conversation but stopped trying after a few minutes of me just absently humming but not actually listening to her. But she continued to stay close to me, shooting me a few worried glances throughout the whole day as she knew that I wouldn't be able to listen to anything she said.
