Jealous | Tommyinnit angst

13 ➪ I Can't Eat.

𝚃𝚞𝚋𝚋𝚘 𝙿𝙾𝚅

Once we got home I ran up to my room, along with Tommy and Ranboo. "I'm sorry for being so awful.. The past week." I spoke with guilt tracing my voice.

"I.." I inhaled, "My parents.. They said they would hurt me if I hung out with y-you.. Tommy.. I'm sorry.. I just didn't want to hurt more.." I broke out into tears, Tommy and Ranboo looked terrified.

They both instantly hugged me tightly, but not tight enough to hurt my bruises. "I-'m so sorry Tubbo.. I wish I knew that.." Tommy stuttered.

"You're never going back.. You're staying with us." Ranboo smiled, I could hear his voice getting shaky.

"I.. I know.. Karl s-said I'm staying with him or someone else for the meantime.." I whimpered.

I pulled out of the hug and smiled, "Th-thank you guys.. for not being rude about it. Again, I'm sorry for being rude to the two of you.." I sniffled, wiping my tears.

They both forgave me and asked if we should go down for dinner, to which I agreed.

𝚃𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚢 𝙿𝙾𝚅

Techno, Dream, and Sapnap had made tacos for all of us. I sat next to Karl and Tubbo as I stared at my food. I started second-guessing eating, but I wouldn't end up like Wilbur. I didn't want to end up like Wilbur. Tubbo's words started repeating in my head, I know he didn't mean them. But they hurt.. A lot.

'He eats like a pig'

Those were the words Tubbo said about me to Ranboo.

'W-well he told me that I'm a lot better than you.. a-and that you're clingy...'

Those were the words Ranboo told me Tubbo said about me.

'Can we take one without Tommy please?'

He wants me gone.

'My parents.. They said they would hurt me if I hung out with y-you.. Tommy..'

I'm the problem..

I'm the reason he got hurt..

Am I the reason everyone gets hurt..?

Why am I so gross? I'm loud and annoying, I don't shut up, I eat weird, I eat too much, I hurt people, I curse too much, I cry too much.

The words spiraled in my brain, I couldn't take it. Just constant awful words were beating into my head. I couldn't stop it. I need to. Help.

nonononononono-

"May I be excused.. really fast?"

Karl looked at me, then down at my plate. He looked a little worried, did I make him sad? He nodded slowly after. I instantly sped walked upstairs and to the bathroom.. You promised.. I promised.. I promised I wouldn't hurt myself again. Or kill myself. Or do anything.

I'm not a liar too, am I?

I had the knife in my hand by autopilot, but I just stared at it. I then put it down with sweat running down my face. I laid up against the wall, suddenly tears started streaming down my face. I tried to stop crying but I just couldn't, Karl has got to be worrying now. I didn't want him to worry.