Jealous | Tommyinnit angst

14 ➪ Never Again.

"What do you mean 'I can't eat?!" I exclaimed, Why can't he eat?

"I.. I just can't! It makes my stomach hurt w-worse.. And I get awful headaches a-and nosebleeds.. Last time I passed out!" He cried, now that I think about it.. It's probably because he ate too much.

"Listen, Wilbur.. I know it's hard to eat but bare with me, I can help you. J-just.. Don't eat too much." I stuttered, He nodded slowly.

"Look I.. I went through this too and.. It sucks. I was in the hospit- No. Nevermind sorry this is about you.. I can help you eat slowly!" I smiled, trying not to overshare.

"A-are you sure..? Dont you have to deal with Tommy.." Wilbur questioned, being selfless.

"No! I can deal with you all, Im fine with it." I intervened, I wanted to help.
Even if it mentally drained me.

"O-ok.. What do I need to do? I hate this." Wilbur said, He was like me when I had an eating disorder. Hated it.

"I'll help you with what to eat and portions, we can start tomorrow morning." I smiled happily. He lightly smiled back and thanked me.

He headed off to his room where he was originally going before I stopped him. I started walking to my room until I noticed Tubbo staring at me from being the wall.

"Tubbo?"

"Ah! Uhm.. H-hi.." He whimpered whilst getting caught.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I was listening and wanted to ask.. Are you Ok?" Tubbo asked, I hadn't heard that in awhile. I smiled,

"Im fine Tubbo!"

I lied.

"Oh! Ok... Have a goodnight Karl." He hugged me then ran with Ranboo to his room.

I stared at the empty living room, the light was super dim. I was saddended along with the air in the room. Rough.

"Why am I here?" I spoke quietly to myself as I sat on the floor.

I have always questioned myself. If my friends just use me or not. If they even refer to me as friends? I kept thinking, Would everyone be hurting if I left? Or just find a new person to dump their feelings on. I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. I thought I had grown enough to help others just as much as I helped myself. I had to help myself.
I was alone.

Before I knew it I was crying and breathing heavily. And my hands were shaky. I was on the ground with my hands ripping my hair tightly.

helphelphelphelphelp

I sobbed loudly, loud enough for someone hear.

No one cared.

Why didn't they care when I cared.

I still have to care. I can do it myself.

I took a deep breath, getting myself out of my panicked state. Thank god.

I stood up and looked at the dim empty room.

How do I feel?