the boy from the airport- karljacobs

rooftop

unknown number
rooftop? asap.

it's karl. he said to go to the rooftop yesterday but i never did, i just fell asleep. i look over to see my sweet boyfriend laying next to me. i can't go now, can i? he doesn't know the place. he wouldn't know where to go. i'll leave a note. i slowly get up and leave a note.

hi babes, i'll be right back, text me if anything. don't worry, i'm alright. :) love you. be back soon. -lacy

i set the note right where i'd be laying, just in case he woke up. i smile at his cute face and leave the apartment. i make my way up the stairs to the big door. i pause, i haven't been up here a lot since karl left. he once saved me from here, it was small, i don't know if i would've actually done it. it was slightly for attention, but i sure as hell would never do it again. my social media's have been disabled (by me) because they seemed as if i had been posting for attention all the time but i'm thinking about starting them back up.

i take a deep breath and open the door. i see a figure looking over the ledge, it's pitch black out. i walk over to karl with anxiety building up. he doesn't turn around although my footsteps aren't exactly quiet. i get to the ledge and look down, to see what he's looking at. a few cars parked but other than that it's just an alley. when i look back up he's looking at me. i slightly smile.

"hey stranger." i say. he doesn't respond right away but gets a little closer. then he walks towards the door. what the hell?

"where are you going?" i yell as he gets farther away. he turns back and holds up his hand, it's too dark to see them though. i assume he's saying 'just a second.' he walks to a large panel by the door and flicks a switch. immediately a light flickers on. it's not bright but it reaches me. he walks back and i can see his face a little more. he really is beautiful. wait no. i have a boyfriend. a very much more attractive one. he slides down so his back is against the wall on the ledge. i do the same. i look over at him with a million questions. before i can open my mouth he leans in and kisses me. it's a passionate kiss and i am lost in it. i hear a car honk and i'm back to reality. i'm still sitting on the wall and karls next to me. he never actually kissed me.

"how are you karl?" i ask, trying to fill the silence.

"tired. like actually, i could fall asleep right now. but i needed to talk to you." he says with a playful voice. i smile and giggle a little. i give him a look that tells him to go on.

"we can be friends right? there's nothing here anymore right?" my smile slightly goes away. in the back of my head i knew i didn't want to be just friends but i nod.

"look, i know that we're both sorry right? we should just start over." he rambles on about how sorry he was and everything he did. i sat there listening, forgetting about the man in my room downstairs. my phone starts to buzz and i realize i've been gone for almost three hours.

"shit! uh clays downstairs, i have to go!" i get up and go downstairs as quickly as possible. clay is laying on the bed casually scrolling on his phone. his hair is messy and he turns over to look at me. he smiles.

"where'd you go?" he has a slight sign of worry but i can tell that he trying to hide it. i choose to ignore it. do i be honest with him? there's no reason not to be.

"i went to the rooftop and talked with... karl." i hesitate before i say karl, afraid he'd be upset. he raises an eyebrow and sits up. he sits criss-cross and motions for me to do the same. i do.

"i know you guys have a past, i don't know much about it. care to share?"

"i guess, there's not much to it. what do you want to know?"

"are there any feelings anymore?" he says flatly.

"no, i just saw him for the first time in a year yesterday." there's not any feelings between us anymore, right? there can't be, i'm in love with clay.

"okay well why did he leave?" oh ouch. i've told clay in the past that it was toxic but not necessarily about how i was the toxic one. or at least more than karl was.

"he left without telling me anything, he didn't owe me that, but the one thing he said was that this was too toxic and he couldn't stay here anymore. he said he needed help or to get away. i don't really remember." i say trying not to break eye contact. i want him to trust me.

"how was it toxic? like what happened to make it toxic." now this was the question i was dreading.

"me." he lifted an eyebrow to my answer, obviously confused.

"i made it toxic. i fucked up the whole thing, it doesn't matter anymore though." i reply looking down.

"how though, what did you do to make it toxic?" as he says this my patience goes away.

"it doesn't matter anymore okay?! it happened, i was a bitch! i was a little attention whore. i didn't want to be and i didn't think i was but i was! i'm sorry but i'm not comfortable talking about this anymore." i snap at him. he looks surprised and slowly gets up.

"i'm sorry lacy, i didn't mean to overstep." he avoids eye contact.

"i'm tired, i'm going to bed." i say and lay down facing away from him. he mumbles something but i can't hear it fully, then the door clicks and i hear him walk out. i sneak a look over my shoulder and he's gone. i roll my eyes and fall asleep.