Body & Soul - Klaus Mikaelson

Twenty-Six

I dig my hand through my bag as I saunter through the kitchen heading for the front door. I turn the contents over once more before coming up empty-handed. I swear under my breath basically shoving my whole head into the bag hoping for that to make a difference. It doesn't. But I don't have the time to tear through the house any longer looking for my father's journal. I haven't been able to find it all morning. 

I groan again, grabbing the handle on the front door and rip it open. I almost plow through Elena, who still has her hand up like she was going to knock on my door. Beads of sweat dance across her skin, her eyes are wide as she looks over her shoulder. But she gives me a trying smile as her eyes meet mine.

"Hey, City," Elena mumbles. I stare at her for a second, still unsure of what to do. Less than forty-eight hours ago, she was ready to take the chance on my life to kill Klaus. They all were. There is no real reaction to that. How do I go about knowing they were ready to sacrifice me for everything? After everything I have done, after always putting them first, they chose to risk my life when I even wasn't ready to do so. "We need to talk."

I give her a stiff nod, my back pressing against the door, opening it further, allowing Elena to step into my house. She hesitantly crosses the threshold. I close the door tightly behind her, following her anxiety into the kitchen. She reeks of it, that and sweat. There is always the underlying scent of fear within our supernatural friend group, it comes with life. But this is different, this is more heightened than regular. 

She chews on her lip as she stares at me, "I'm sorry."

I open my mouth to brush it aside as I always do. Because that's what happens. I give up everything for her, and she apologizes. I tell her it doesn't matter, I would do it again and again. But this time is different. We can both feel it. Because this time I wasn't ready to do anything. I wanted to live. But her anything might have included my death. So the words I intend to say will be a lie.

But I never quite get to give them to her. Her own words shut mine down. "Don't say it's fine. We both know it isn't. I know you weren't ok with what I wanted to do."

My jaw twitches and I nod slightly, "You're right. For the first time in a long time, I wasn't ready to die for."

"I know you found something that you're destined to, and I'm sorry it's him," SHe mumbles.

But I'm not. I'm not sorry, and for this, I never will be. Because that happiness is supposed to be eternal in mortal life. And if there is a day like my mother believes there will be, where I am happy, then I want. I want that for me and for him. Klaus has been ripped by war and death for centuries. He above everyone else deserves one full chance at happiness. Obviously, nature wanted him to have it if he shares the same Mark as me. 

I tell her so, "Look, Elena. I don't expect you to approve. But things have changed. I'm connected to me, fully. I feel everything. Which means his death. I'm not a vampire and even on my strongest night, I was almost killed. So yes, things have changed. I will always fight for you. But things have changed. I have a chance to get what I have wanted for years. And I'm not giving my life when I don't yet have the chance to do so."

She nods heavily, "I'm sorry for not talking about this with you sooner. You deserve happiness, City. But he is a danger."

I shake my head in return, "Why? Because he killed somebody?"

She goes to say something but I don't let her, "We've all done. Stefan, with and without his emotions. Damon. Me. I took two irreplaceable lives, Elena. And yet you've forgiven us."

"Jen-"

"I know he killed Jenna. I know that. I know he killed Tyler. I know he has done unforgivable things, but you didn't see him all summer. You didn't see him when he wasn't hungry for blood. I came back here, Elena, to say goodbye. The night your parents died. And I knew I couldn't leave you. Because I knew that feeling. The feeling of being absolutely alone and dead. So I stayed, and I protected you and I trusted you with everything."