Halsey

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Y/n's POV
What is love? Love is what I want to have with her

But with all the fighting, arguments, tears, it's just plain out toxic at this point

But I love her and I can't let her go, like yeah we all make mistakes and most of them have been my fault but I don't want her to leave me

And now it might be too late

She's tired of my "sorrys" and my "I love you's" when I don't show her that I do

She has girls and guys lined up waiting to be with her and here I am just playing with her feelings

She won't even answer my calls anymore, I might even be blocked. If I send her a good morning paragraph I just end up left on read

So here I am, at her doorstep contemplating whether I should knock or not

I want her back so bad but maybe it's for the best, maybe I should let her be especially if I say I'm gonna stop and continue to do the same shit

I treated her so badly and I'm finally facing the consequences, not to mention I decided to confess my feelings to my BESTFRIEND

So not only did I lose my girlfriend but I lost my best friend in the process and now I'm just here

I knock on the door a couple of times waiting for an answer

I looked down at the bracelet she got me for my birthday, they were the ying-yang I had the black one and she had the white

I never took it off, even during this time right now, as I hurt more and more and cry and cry, it just reminds me of the good times

I take one more breathe and I knock on the door again

"Who is it!" I hear her yell in the distance

It's been about 4 weeks since I last heard her voice, still as beautiful as ever

I cleared my throat before saying "pizza delivery" trying to disguise my voice

As I seen her figure approaching the door I panicked

The door opened and there she was staring at me with a blank face

I stood there like a dumbass, speechless

The door shut too quickly for me to catch, "Hals please" I begged but I could already see her walking back into the kitchen

And then if hit me, she always sleep with her window open

I walked around the the house until I seen the light of her bedroom

I walked around the house and seen the light from her room

All I have to do is find a way to get up there without busting my ass

Should be fine I hope

12 minutes later

I had one foot against the house and the other on the tree

My hands were slowly but surely slipping until I let go

Luckily I landed on my feet

"Please Hals just let me explain, this time I'll do right, just one more chance!"

Halsey's POV
Why was she making this so hard for me?

She doesn't know all the shit I'm going through, but at the same time kinda did ghost her

Okay so maybe I'm in the wrong just a tad bit but still, I'm fed up with all of her games

I can't give in to her, she'll just do the same shit over again and break me

"Just let me show you I care for you!"

She's annoying why can't she get the hint?

She fucked up, not me. Why should I even give her the time of day

Yes I love Y/n to death but I can't keep letting her hurt me over and over again

But still there I was slowly walking back towards the door to let her in

Maybe she changed, maybe she learned her lesson, or maybe she was just gonna do the same shit over again

I was right there staring at her shadow behind the door as she stared right back at mine

My fingers twitched, was I really about to just let her back in? After all the times I had to deal with her mood swings, the name calling, her excessive calling at 2 in the morning, the paragraphs she sent apologizing, do I just let her back in that easy?

Yes, and that's exactly what I did

I opened the door and I embraced her in a tight hug. Y/n always gave the best hugs, I missed her warmth, I kissed her smile, her laugh, her corny jokes that I laughed at anyways, I just missed her

"I'm sorry Hals, I'm so fucking sorry"

Oh so she's sorry? She wants to be sorry now? I thought to myself in disbelief and frustration I'm tired of hearing her stupid ass apologies, I pushed her off me

"Were you sorry when you hung up in my face with no context? Was you sorry when you called me a bitch? Was you sorry when you told me I was full of shit and that I never loved you!? If I didn't love you I wouldn't cry over you, if I didn't love you I wouldn't read every text you sent me even if I was pissed"

I hated the word "sorry" it meant nothing unless you made it something, and Y/n most definitely didn't make it something

More tears filled in her eyes to add to the ones already rolling down her cheeks

I hated when she cried, especially if I was the one causing the tears but I wasn't done, I wanted her to cry, she needed to make up for the times I cried over her

"You can't say you love me and then treat me like shit Y/n that's not how love works, do you even know what love is"

"Yes, yes I do. Love is when I'm with you, love is the way you make me feel, love is how I want to make you feel" she said that last line in a whisper

I couldn't just send her away even if I tried, she's everything to me and I want to hate her so bad but I can't

Without a word I walked away up the stairs leaving the door open for Y/n to come in if she even understood that I wanted her in here

I heard the door close meaning that she got the idea

After 4 weeks of ignoring her calls, leaving her on read, seeing all the small petty shit she posted on her story to get my attention, all of it was pointless, because as soon as I seen her again I crumbled

I loved this girl, a lot, we planned our whole future together, and no matter how many times we argue and cry over each other she will always find a way back into my heart

I laid down in my bed turned towards the door waiting for her to open it

My best friend was not gonna be happy with the choices I made tonight but she wouldn't understand

Y/n finally walked through the door after what felt like a thousand years

Even in the dark I could still see the stained tears on her cheek

I was still mad at her, I still had stuff I needed to say, I still had things I needed to make clear

But that can wait right now I just want her to hold me and tell everything would be okay

And that's exactly what she did and continued to do the same thing every night after that

Okay so the majority of this chapter is based on my current situation and the rest of it is how I wanted things to go but this girl literally blocked me and turned off her location I think she's really done with me 😗✌🏾

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 22, 2021 ⏰

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