The Change Within

㉓You Don't Feel It?

Taehyung could feel how stiff the younger’s body was against him, as if it turned to steel, but he couldn’t bring himself to draw away. He knew what he did was extremely impulsive and unexpected and that Jeongguk hated it obviously, but despite everything, he didn’t want to stop.

A fruity, redolent of summer aroma crawled into his system when his mind emptied from any thought, and he twisted his head a tad, burying his nose in his caramel, feathery hair. With an intake of breath, his delicate fragrance flowed through him in slow waves, melting his insides with uncontrollable coziness and sending his mind floating in colorful clouds.

Inside Jeongguk’s stark stupefaction, the sound of his long, unhurried inhalation buzzed in his ears, and he flickered an eyelid when the realization of what had just happened dawned on him.

He just smelled you. Push him away. Do something! He screamed in his head, but his body didn’t seem like it wanted to comply. It’s just a damn hug, why are you so freaked out? Hoseok and Yoongi hug you all the time. But this feels nothing like their hugs. This feels... Why does this feel so different?

While Jeongguk slipped into his torrent of thoughts, seeking answers to his piled-up questions, the warmth engulfing his body faded little by little until it vanished throughout.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me. What you said was really beautiful and I guess I just wanted to thank you,” Taehyung uttered as he allowed a soft smile to stretch on his lips, wanting to conceal his shaken condition and pounding heart.

With his mind still reeling with countless, head-aching questions, Jeongguk gulped and cleared his throat as he shifted in his seat, keeping his head bowed. “You thanked me already. You shouldn’t have hugged me. It was really weird and uncomfortable.”

Traces of sadness budded on Taehyung’s features as his words were like shards cutting into his heart, forcing out any warmth and joy he felt before. “I’m sorry.”

Jeongguk cast him a glance when he heard his whispering apology and heaved a sigh, feeling a pang of guilt rip through him. “Was it... too harsh?”

The violet-haired boy darted his gaze at him, taken aback by his question. “It was just honest. I prefer it that way even if—I mean, I just want you to be honest.”

“Even if... it saddens you?”

A series of awkward half laughs erupted from Taehyung’s mouth as he avoided eye contact. “It doesn’t sadden me. I mean, you’re an ass who doesn’t care about how I feel, anyway.” He nervously clutched the edge of the couch and squeezed it multiple times as he waited for any kind of response from him, but he got nothing. “You don’t care, right?”

Jeongguk maintained his silence for a few more seconds as his eyes wandered on his restless face. “Yeah.”

“Of course you don’t,” he said in such a hushed tone that Jeongguk probably couldn’t hear him, feeling his bitterness settle on his chest and press it down painfully. “Since we’re talking... I’m curious about something.”

“Aren’t you curious about everything?”

“Shut up,” Taehyung spat with a glare, but a fog of hesitation clouded his face, unsure about vocalizing his thoughts. He took a sip of his drink first, trying to buy some time to prepare himself and work his courage up even a notch, and finally shot him a row of timorous glances. “Uh, were you really mad after I asked you to make out with me?”