The Change Within

㊷I Didn't Know It Was Possible

 
Muffled in a downy blanket and the heat of another's body, successive spasms dragged Taehyung out of his sleeping status. His eyes split open at the sound of ragged, shallow breaths, and only then he registered the bone-crushing grip encircling him.

He mulled over Jeongguk's expression that screamed distress; beads of sweat embellished his crinkly forehead, eyes intensively screwed closed, pupils darting from left to right, and lips quivering like leaves.

And if he wasn't already harried enough, he discerned fresh tears escaping his closed eyes, something that made his heart prance with the sparks of disquiet that nestled against it.

"Kookie?" he softly called as he brought one hand to his twitching face to hold it, skimming the crown of his cheek with a tender thumb. "Baby, wake up."

The slight increase of his volume seemed to affect Jeongguk's unresponsive condition as he flinched with a subdued whimper, and just seconds later, he convulsed, with his tearful eyes popping open.

Taehyung peered at him wide-eyed, his chest feeling heavy with agony as he took in the bewilderment and consternation that was painted over his characteristics.

Void of what to do or say, he watched as Jeongguk's face contorted with heartache, and a pouring wetness streamed down his cheeks right after.

"Oh, Kookie," he croaked out on the verge of tears, grasping his nape and tucking him into his hug. "Shh, it's okay. You're okay, baby. It was just a nightmare." He cradled him tightly as he patted his back and delivered fond kisses on his head, hoping to assuage his wrenching effusion.

Each one of his caresses pulled Jeongguk a fraction further from the catastrophic whirlwind inside him and slowed his raging pulse, mellowing the hard knot constricting his throat.

A few drags of air combined with Taehyung's mollifying fragrance a while later ceased his sobs and stabilized his breath. He used his shirt to wipe his tear-stained cheeks and quickly clung onto him again. "I'm sorry. This is embarrassing."

"What? No, Kook. It's not," he reassured as he passed his fingers through his hair, placing another peck on his head. "Do you want to tell me what you saw?"

Jeongguk went over his dream in silence, and another round of tears pooled in his bloodshot eyes, but he endeavored to choke them back. "I saw my mom. It was the first time I saw her in my dreams. She was smiling. She was so beautiful. I miss her so much, Tae." His frail voice cracked as his efforts to prevent the new burst of tears crumbled.

"I know, Kookie, I know," he whispered, feeling his heart twist more and more by his broken sobs. "Did she say anything?"

The younger took a moment to gather himself before he responded. "She kept saying that I'm free and the only thing that's left now is to be happy. What do you think it means?"

Taehyung hummed in thought, still caressing his nape soothingly. "Maybe it means that you changed and now you're free from your anger and can finally be happy."

"But... am I really free from my anger?"

"You're the only one who knows that, Kook. But don't dwell on it now. You should get some rest."

"I'm sorry I woke you up." He untucked his head to collect any remains of his tears and set his drained gaze on him.

"Yah, are you serious? I don't care about that. I just want you to be okay."

"But you get all grumpy when you don't sleep much."

"It's not the same. I want to comfort you, hold you, kiss you, whisper sweet things to you, and just be here for you. Who cares about sleep when my Kookie is hurting?"