The Change Within

㊴My Plan Is Working Then

 
An ongoing battle of galvanic eye contact with an edge of bemusement had brought uncomfortable silence in the room, leading the sexual tension to diminish stepwise.

“Why do you seem so shocked that I’m a top?” Taehyung folded his arms over his chest, an accretive dram of vexation budding inside him.

“I don’t know. You just seem like a bottom to me.”

“Why?”

“I said I don’t know. I just get that vibe from you. I mean, don’t you get the vibe of a top from me?

“Yeah, but I hoped you’d like to switch, you know? Have you ever tried it? To bottom?”

“No. You?”

“Yes, and it was okay. I’m willing to bottom for you as much as you want. But I want to top too.”

Jeongguk lowered his eyes to his lap as a sonorous sigh slipped past his lips, not so fond of that idea. “I mean, I don’t want to say no because I’ve never tried it before, so I can’t know if I like it or not. I guess it’s kinda scary because it’ll be a change for me and you know I don’t do well with changes,” he said, his voice hushed and tentative, as he still couldn’t get used to the feeling of sharing his worries and thoughts with someone else.

Taehyung allowed a subtle smile to sprawl on his face as his eyes lingered on his diffident expression, getting lost at his effortless beauty. He slithered closer until he fused their sides and threaded his fingers through his hair in a tender hold, using his free hand to give loving strokes on his nape.

“Kook. Do you have any idea how much you’ve changed since I met you? You started apologizing if you did something wrong or said something over the line. You started admitting your feelings to yourself, to me, to your friends. You even stopped drinking beers every night alone. You either drink with me or Yoongi and Hoseok when I can’t join you. Do you even remember when was the last time you drank alone?

“I know changes are scary because we can’t be sure about what they’ll bring with them. Changes can ruin your whole life, but they also are what make you move forward. Don’t be scared to try new things and step out of your comfort zone. You can always return if you don’t like it. But at least try it once in a while.”

“Are you talking about the bottom thing?” Jeongguk shot him a narrow-eyed glance, his intent to tease shining through his restrained smirk.

“No, you dork,” he hissed as he delivered a mild slap on the back of his neck, both giggling. “I mean in your life in general. Try new things and let changes come your way. And I promise, no matter what happens, there’s one thing in your life that definitely won’t change.”

“And what’s that?”

The corners of his lips curled up timidly as he inched closer, bringing their faces a strand away from each other. “Me being by your side.”

Jeongguk broke into a smile at his heart-melting statement, so joyous and uncontrolled it crinkled his eyes at the edges. “Yeah? No matter what happens?”

“Yeah. Unless if you cheat on me and stuff. Or, you know, you get bored of me.”

The younger individuated the gleam draining away from his magnetic eyes and the hesitant biting of his lower lip. He felt a strangely enormous urge to bring his smile back, which always sent a flurry of warmth swirling in his gut whenever he came across it. “Before, you said I’m worth more than I think. And it’s kind of funny. Or ironic, to be exact. How can you see that I’m worth more than I think, but you can’t see that for yourself?”

His shoulders sank deeper and his head fell in insecurity, but a feather-like hand lifted it just seconds later, cupping his cheek. “You’re enough, Tae. Exactly the way you are. In every way. You’re more than enough. And for me? You’re more than I could ever ask for. So please don’t say that again. How can I get bored of you? I can’t get enough of you, even though we live in the same house and we’re together all day at the uni.”