Kiss Me Under The Stars

17

Content warning: depictions of self-inflicted injuries

When you opened your eyes you expected to be in your bed. But instead, you were on the floor. You groaned in frustration and sat up. The sun was shining into your living room. It was too bright for it to have been the same day. You looked down at the phone in front of you. There was a text from Emily. You ignored it for a second and acknowledged the crack in the middle of the screen. You groaned in frustration.

You got up and slowly made it over to your room. Picking up the ring from your floor you walked into your room and then into your bathroom. Gently placing the ring on the sink. "I'm sorry" you whispered

You looked up at the mirror and your eyes traced over your neck. Your fingers gently traced the red markings as you deeply inhaled. It was barely noticeable unless you really squinted your eyes. You looked down at your arms and realized you dug your nails deeper into your skin than you thought. Then you noticed a bruise on your knuckles from hitting the door. You didn't feel good but you didn't feel bad. You didn't feel anything. For now. Until you got undressed and stepped into your shower. You felt shame.

You winced in pain when the warm water stung your skin. It had been 3 years. You had worked so hard to move past April. To keep her memory alive while keeping yourself intact. You had no idea how badly you suppressed your feelings until yesterday. Just seeing a co-worker almost killed you inside. You sighed and continued to bathe.

...

Your leg bounced up at down as you waited for Spencer to walk in. There was a line of men walking through the door and you observed until you locked eyes with Spencer. You could see a wave of relief fill his face. He walked over to your spot and reached for a hug. You got up and felt his arms graze your shoulders before the guard yelled "No touching"

"Hey Genius" you smiled softly as you sat down. His hair was longer, not too long but it grew. He had stubble on his face and the bags under his eyes were darker

"What are you doing here" his smile brightened

"Penelope had first dibs but there's a case so your wonderful girlfriend had the honors to come first instead" you rested your hands onto the table

"I'm really happy to see you" he smiled and looked back for a second before turning to look at you again "But I wish you hadn't come it's not a good idea"

"Too bad" your fingers traced the table as you spoke "You're stuck with me. How have you been?"

His lip trembled a bit "I'm okay" he nodded and swallowed back whatever he was feeling

"I saw your mom after the trial"

He rose his brow "You didn't have to do that"

"I wanted to"

"Does she know where I am?" his eyes voice deepened, he was concerned

"She knew who I was but she wasn't lucid enough to understand what happened" you played with the hem of your long sleeve "She asked if you were at the beach and I said yes and that seemed to make her happy"

"Okay" he sighed "okay that's fine"

His eyes locked with yours again. You wanted to reach over and kiss him so badly. You could see that he felt the same. There was more small talk about little things and then a moment of silence washed over the both of you before you noticed him squint his eyes. He tilted his head. He wasn't looking at your face but your neck. You nervously swallowed back and fiddled with your ring. His eyes traveled down your arms. You looked down with him and realized you rolled up your sleeve enough to see your arm. You internally groaned and watched his eyes land on your hand. You felt his eyes travel back up to your face. "What happened"