Kiss Me Under The Stars

36

"Y/n?" Spencer walked through Y/n's apartment again. Looking for her.

As he walked through her halls again he stopped by her kitchen. Papers from yesterday were still displayed on the table. He didn't get a look at them yesterday but today he realized Y/n wanted to go back to the FBI. They were a request to be reinstated.

He looked through them and realized they were only filled out halfway. He set the papers down and walked towards her bedroom door. He slowly twisted the door knob and stepped inside. She was laying in her bed, facing away from the door.

Spencer approached slowly and bent down to reach for her shoulder but he put his hand to his side when he heard her voice "I'm awake"

Spencer didn't know what to say "I want to help"

She sat up slowly and looked up at him. Spencer noticed that her eyes were red and he recognized the marks on her arms. They were the same ones she had from the time she had gone to see him in prison. She had a panic attack after he left. Spencer felt his stomach drop. He felt guilty for not staying.

Y/n could see the guilt in his eyes, she crossed her arms over her chest so the scratches could be less visible. She scrunched her nose and sniffled before she began to speak "When you were in prison you told me that you never wanted to see my face again"

"I was in a horrible place and it felt like I was loosing my mind. I did not mean it" Spencer sat down beside her on the bed

"But you gave me an out" Spencer could tell that she was swallowing back tears "Now I am giving you an out."

"I'm not going anywhere" Spencer gently pushed her hair behind her ear and rested his hand on her cheek

"You're not?" Her voice cracked and a tear slipped down her cheek, she was clearly hurt

"Of course not. I love you" Spencer gently caressed her cheek and tried to be gentle with her

She nodded and more tears fell down her face as she fell forward into Spencer's arms. Spencer wrapped her arms around her and held on as if she could slip away from his grasp. He wanted to hold her like this forever. To protect from everything evil in the world. She sobbed into his shirt "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"

Spencer could tell that her apology was for yesterdays actions and what she said about him. He only held her closer.

"I don't know what's wrong with me" she cried "I'm sorry"

Spencer held her close to his chest and rubbed her back gently "It's going to be okay"

Spencer felt his own tears well in his eyes. He had never seen Y/n so hurt before and it terrified him. He was scared of losing her but he was even more scared of Y/n losing herself.

After a while the both of them were laying in bed. Y/n had her head buried in his chest as he gently stroked the back of her head. He was gentle with her. He wanted to make sure that she knew she was loved.

But then he heard her mumble something under her breath. Spencer hummed in response and she pulled away from him so she could look at him. She repeated "I see him everywhere"

Spencer immediately knew that she was referring to Sam.

"I keep seeing him everywhere" she sighed "No matter what it's like I can't escape him. And so much of my life was corrupted by him. Now I can't shake him off and it's painful reliving all the terrible memories he caused"