i was drunk, spence

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(y/n wakes up in spencer's room after having too many drinks. a truth comes out.)

all i could hear were the clinks. the clink that came off my champagne glass against my teammates', which certainly wouldn't be the last one i drank for the night.

we'd just finished a miserable case the day before, so i came home and slept all day. and now i felt ready to party. thankfully, rossi invited us over for 'pasta night' which usually just ended up with us all drunk.

-

the only thing i really remember was drinking and slow dancing with emily to sad music. and here i am now, dreaming of spencer.

i'm running in a field to this picnic at the top of the hill. i was on a date with spencer. i had a pretty white dress with small floral details on it while spencer had on some of his usual dress clothes. his smile was illuminating and his eyes were so happy. he kisses me-

and suddenly i'm woken up with a weird feeling. it wouldn't be the first time i'd felt like this; i knew what was coming. i check my surroundings as i lift from the sheets, then run to spencer's bathroom.

why i was in his apartment.. i didn't know. i immediately begin throwing up in the toilet everything i'd consumed the night before. i immediately regretted it.

footsteps patter and socks slide as spencer runs to me. he takes my hand from my hair and holds it from my face while also rubbing my back for some bit of comfort. i kept throwing up-it was sort of embarrassing.

after a few more seconds, i finish and stand up. he lets go of my hair and i wipe my face, freeing myself of the tears. every time i threw up, i cried. i hated the feeling and it brought back too many memories.

i sniffle and he says, "um.. here." he opens the mirror above his sink and pulls out a packaged toothbrush. said toothbrush is ripped open and topped with some of his toothpaste. he hands it to me and i immediately begin brushing my teeth to rid the taste of the vomit.

we stare at each other afterwards, just to take a moment to process everything that had just happened, and i mumble, "thank you." he nods, blushing almost. i have absolutely no idea why.

he swallows and purses his lips, "are you okay?" i nod this time and say, "i think so," rubbing my forehead.

i noticed what i was wearing, and it definitely wasn't mine. it was jj's, for some reason. i didn't question it-i was completely wasted last night.

spencer suggests, "you can shower if you'd like. you can use my stuff." i breathe out deeply, "god, i love you. you know that right? i love you." we both laugh and he responds, "i love you too, y/n."

it definitely gave me butterflies but i chose to keep my mouth shut. there's no telling what i said last night.

-

i get out of the shower, continuing to wear someone else's clothes. except this time, they were spencer's. i wore one of his sweatshirts and a pair of my shorts that i'd accidentally left over from one of our many movie nights. i smelled like him too after using his surprisingly nice products. i pull my hair into a bun but it quickly fell messy.

i walk towards spencer in the kitchen, admiring him as he stood at the counter, beginning to fix something for breakfast. it smelled good, but it didn't look to pretty.

i gently say, "hey, thank you. for everything." he just simply nods, continuing to stare at the eggs and then he giggles, "do you mind helping me with this?"

i go to the handsome doctor and look over the countertops before us. he was making an omelette, but it didn't look so right. it kind of got smushed, so i help him.

he watches as i fix it, and he says, "do you, um, do you remember what happened last night?" i couldn't make eye contact with spencer because i didn't remember a single thing.

i felt so embarrassed and could feel the heat in my cheeks rising. i scoff, "no." he purses his lips, from what i could tell from the corner of my eyes.

"um, well, you had a few drinks, and then you and morgan had a contest to see who could down more shots." i look up at spencer, finally; there was so much embarrassment and humiliation filling me up. i close my eyes in disappointment in myself, "i'm so sorry you had to see that."

he smiles and shakes his head in disagreement. the light in his eyes shifted and suddenly his hand goes to my hair and he kisses me.

his fingers dig into his sweatshirt that i was wearing, which caused me to go closer to spencer. his other hand went to my jawline to make sure i wouldn't leave so suddenly.

spencer was an amazing kisser, despite the fact that it was very unexpected and sloppy. it felt right, but it wasn't right.

so after our two kisses-yes, two-i pull back, but continue to keep my hands around his torso. i take a deep breath to catch it, and look around. i smile, "spence-" i was confused as to why the kiss was so abrupt and why he felt as if he couldn't wait any longer.

he sighs and says, "i- i'm sorry. um, last night.. you said you were in love with me and you kissed me." i groan, "shit." he just stared at me, a puzzled look in his pretty eyes.

i swallow, trying to get my feelings under control and understand how i could better the situation. i didn't want our first kiss to be like this. spencer was a big romantic, and so was i, so i had imagined this very differently. i almost felt like crying because so much had been said, so much that i couldn't change it anymore.

i exasperate, "i was drunk, spence." my head started pounding. he became almost agitated that i 'didn't' like it, when i really did. i just wasn't ready. he asks, "well did you mean it?"

i stare into his hopeful eyes, some part of him showing that he wished i did. i mumble, "yeah. yes, spence. i'm in love with you. and i wasn't-" he cuts me off, grabbing my jaw, and placing his weirdly soft lips on mine. this man just couldn't wait.

he pulls away, "i'm in love with you too, y/n." i felt my cheeks getting hot again as i couldn't keep steady eye contact. slowly, he lifts my chin towards his and i kiss him. this time it felt right.

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word count - 1149.

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