The Coffee Shop (Hamilton Lams Modern AU) **IN EDITING**

Chapter 19

Both POVs

I was talking with Laf and Herc when I heard something coming from John's room. "Do you guys hear that?" I asked. The three of us went quiet. There was definitely some sort of noise coming from his room. "I'll go check on him," I told them, getting up and walking over to John's room. I knocked on the door. "W-who's there..?" John asked. He sounded like he'd been crying. "Are you okay? You sound like you've been crying." Did he have a nightmare? Did something happen to him? "I-I'm f-fine..." he mumbled. "Then why is the door locked?" I asked. He didn't answer. He unlocked the door but didn't open it. I opened the door and automatically noticed he was curled up on his bed and crying. "What happened? Are you okay? Did something happen?" No answer. "If you're not going to tell me what happened-" he cut me off. "My dad called me and told me that someone pressed charges and that he's coming to New York in a few days with my siblings," he explained. "I-I didn't know what to do after he called because he's obviously gonna visit and I don't know how I'm going to explain everything to him without getting punished in some way, because he'll kill me, or at the very least try to, if he finds out that I'm trying to get him arrested for what he's done. And to add to that, he's gonna try to kill you as well because you're the one doing the case for me." He stopped to take a deep breath, probably to stop himself from crying again. "I didn't know what to do and everything I've been trying to stop for the past few years came back and-.." John rolled up his sleeves to show me cuts up and down his arms. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have done that. I should've just talked to you." I've never seen him like this, not even when I accidentally pulled one of his 'triggers'. "You don't have to apologize. Just stay here and I'll go get you some stuff to clean the cuts with," I told him.

Alex left my room, and I was yet again alone. I'm so stupid.. how could I possibly think he didn't care? Nobody else would've listened to me like that, I thought. "Okay, I have some bandages and rubbing alcohol wipes." I flinched, knowing those would hurt. "I'm gonna be as careful as I can, okay?" I nodded and rolled up my sleeves. "Again, I'm sorry-" Alex cut me off. "No, you don't need to apologize. It's not your fault. This sort of thing is out of your control," he told me. He bandaged up my left arm and did the same to my right. "Better?" he asked. I nodded. "It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would," I mumbled. He gave me that sweet smile of his and kissed my forehead. I blushed but didn't tell him anything. "I think I should change, seeing as my shirt is covered in blood," I told him. He nodded and left the room after giving me another quick kiss. I changed out of my pajamas and into my favorite hoodie (off-white with thin rainbow order stripes, goes past my hands so the bandages won't show) and a pair of jeans. I entered the kitchen and sat down next to Alex, who was talking to Laf. I rested my head on his shoulder, as I didn't feel like even sitting up. I felt like sleeping, like I was exhausted even though I'd barely been awake for the day. Before Alex could even open his mouth, Laf turned to me. "John, mon ami, Alexander told us that your father called. However, we don't really know how it's going to work when he visits," Laf told me. Alex nudged me, more than likely signaling for me to show them my arms. "Look, guys, I know I shouldn't have done this and I know everything was getting better but-.." I sighed and rolled up my sleeves to reveal the bandages. "I-I'm sorry, okay? I k-know I should've just come talk to you guys about this..." I was in tears yet again. They started telling me all the same stuff Alex had. It's not your fault. This is out of your control. You're still working on it, it's okay to slip up. I felt so stupid. How could I ever think they didn't care? They obviously do. "Wait, didn't you used to go to therapy once a week?" Herc asked. "Y-yeah, and I still do. Just not on Fridays anymore. I have therapy on Wednesdays-" I cut myself off. "Great, today's Wednesday. Just great." I buried my head in my hands. "First of all, you go to therapy? Second, why do you seem so annoyed?" I smiled at Alex's obliviousness. "Of course I do. Don't you think someone like me would need therapy? And I'm annoyed because I hate going to therapy. She makes me talk about everything that triggers me and makes me wanna cry. I've been going since I moved here, only because some people-" I glared at Laf and Herc- "-forced me to go," I explained. "Well, if you hate it so much, how about I come with you? This way if anything happens, I'll be right there next to you," Alex suggested. "That sounds good to me," I mumbled, leaning against Alex. He didn't seem to mind that I was basically eavesdropping on the conversation he was having with Laf (while Herc did the dishes by himself).