my bones crack as I creep out of bed in the late afternoon wondering why sleep comes harder these days
why my face is getting thinner
why my voice is getting quieter
the only thing I notice is the late night conversations with a lighter and the moon
too terrified to close my eyes and let the demons control my dreams just to wake up in fear of the coming day
why so afraid
why not afraid of the slipping grades
why not afraid of the lack of food during the day but binging in the night
why
blankets of dread and fear cover my body as I lay awake at night
blankets of unwanted compliments from strangers fill my eyes as I only seek validation from the ones who pretend to love me
flashes of anger and hatred of the world cover my once perfect garden of peace
but why?
why hate the person who you're supposed to love the most
bound by the worlds expectations and the eyes of your parents wishes
this world will break me down and never let me feel the warmth again
but maybe
I will let it happen
and let the surface of my garden fade away and be forgotten.
YOU ARE READING
Dreamland
PoetryDreamland: the only place I can truly be myself, which is something I'm not sure I know how to be in reality
