Dreamland

crossroads of life

I haven't been taking care of myself like I should.

I stay up late, I eat horribly, I quit dance, I smoke and drink. I do shit that isn't good for me.

But I weirdly don't care. I don't care if I lied to my parents about smoking. I don't care if I don't take care of myself.

But I hate the fact that I don't care.
I hate it.

But I don't know how to change.
I don't know how to be better for myself.

I sit and wallow in self pity and dream about a whole other life I want to live.

So why don't I live it?

Why don't I go chase my dreams and live the life I want?

I feel restricted, I feel held down by my family and my anxiety that I restrict myself.

My heart is conflicted...I don't know which path to take. I'm at a crossroads.

And I don't know whether to go right or left. But I guess the unknowns is what makes life, life.

We don't know what tomorrow holds.
But that unknown is what makes people hide away and are too afriad to live.

I think the unknowns should encourage us to live...

Let the scariness of the world push us to walk through it and conquer it.

I hope I realize this someday.
I hope I live a life full of unknowns so I can live a life I've always dreamed of...