Dreamland

I'm not u

Why do I always fucking jinx myself.

I mean jesus christ I say one thing and then the next the total fucking opposite happens.

I don't regret my decisions but the way they were brought to light really fucking sucked.

I'm sorry I fucking disappoint everybody. I'm so fucking sorry for everything I put everyone through.

My bad I wanna live my life and do new things. I'm not that fucking perfect little girl anymore.

I make mistakes...

You know what. Scratch that.

I make decisions that you think are mistakes. But to me it's a learning experience I can enjoy with the people I feel most comfortable with.

I'm sorry I can't live up to your expectations. I'm sorry I'm not you.

God I hate being ridiculed by your so called misinterpreted version of a mistake.

I'm human. I do things that probably aren't good for me but I do them anyway. I don't want to live my life with regrets.

I can't be that person. I always promised myself I wouldn't be.

But now why do I feel guilty for actions I didn't feel the need to seek guilt for?

Why?

Why ruin relationships left in right when it's not my intention.

I mean well, in every possible way...

But when I try to make everyone happy, my boat gets overflowed and someone always ends up falling over.

And I can never catch them...

I try my hardest, but life just doesn't always go the way we wanted it to.

And that fucking sucks.