Dreamland

defeat

I can feel that dark place settling in again.

Burrowing itself there with no regrets.

I miss the past and I can't seem to see the future.

Whenever I think of my future I don't see one.

Seeing the tears roll down my mothers cheeks when I tell her I don't know how to breathe anymore.

"You can tell me anything"

So why do I feel guilty.

"I've failed you"

Why can't she see I've failed myself... I've failed her..

Why can't you see it?

I feel a tragedy is about to strike.

But I think it's just my own downfall around the corner.

Waiting.

I think I want bad things to happen so I have an excuse to wallow in the hole I created a long time ago...

I feel misplaced.

Like parts of me are scattered and I'm trying to create new pieces of myself.

When in reality I'm just fooling myself into believing that the glue will finally stick this time.

When will I finally learn...?