Dreamland

just another day

the warmth I feel when I see your face terrifies me

flashes of light dance across my vision shielding me away from the broken parts of you

do I dare reveal myself to you

I think pretending is my way of coping the loss of wanting things to be different

I like to make up stories in my head of perfect days where it's just you and me feeling the warmth of each other

but I know that is not reality

I trick myself into believing you would want me

I know in the back of my storm filled mind that you are not the one for me

deep down I know

I know that I shield myself from you because I am too afraid to look under the blanket of who you really are

how do I leave when I know you don't care if I say goodbye

why am I so caught up in the act of love but will shy away when I get the slightest amount of affection

maybe because I want the attention to be from you

what a silly fantasy

I stay locked in my dreamland with you waiting at the entrance

a safe place where I think I will always remain.