Dreamland

life

Sometimes it's hard to let go of the past, it's even harder to let go of people. But we do it anyway so we can live our lives and not feel stuck in a place with no movement.

I struggle with that daily. A part of my mind wants to stay in this safe place, but I know if I do I will be stuck the rest of my life.

I have different people pushing me to make certain decisions that I don't even have the answers to.

I don't have a hard life compared to some, and I hate complaining because I know others have it worse. But that doesn't stop me from feeling the weight and pressure on my chest. That doesn't stop the feeling to cry every second of every day.

I have certain distractions that help me feel a little better, like friends, family, reading. But then when it's just me and my thoughts at night I can't help but think of the depressing life I let myself live.

I have a good relationship with my family, I know a lot of people don't so I'm very grateful. But when I hear my mom say what she hates about herself and how her life is horrible I can't help but feel sad, or when my sister is mean to me for no reason, or when my dad texts the other woman that's not his girlfriend right in front of me and thinks I don't notice.

We all got shit, we all have different ways of handling it. I just wish there was a way to block out all the pain and just live our lives with no regrets, no heart aches, no guilt.

I just wish we lived in a world with love and peace. But I know that will never happen.

So I'll just be here in my dreamland living the life I know I can never live.