Rhodey, suited in his Iron Patriot armor, kicks down a door & marches forwards.
Rhodey: Don't move!
His phone rings.
Rhodey: Uh... Hang on a second. Hello?
Tony Stark: You ever have a chick straddling you and you look up and suddenly she's glowing from the inside out, kind of a bright orange?
Rhodey: Yeah, I've had that. Who is this?
Tony Stark: It's me, pal. Now, last time I went missing, if I remember correctly, you came looking for me. What are you doing?
Rhodey: A little knock-and-talk, making friends in Pakistan. What are you doing?
Tony Stark: Your redesign, your big rebrand, that was AIM, right?
Rhodey: Yeah.
Tony Stark: I'm gonna find a heavy-duty comm sat right now, I need your login.
Rhodey: It's the same as it's always been, "WarMachine68."
y/n: Come on man, you were this close.
Rhodey: Who's that?
Tony Stark: Umm... Civil Warrior.
y/n: Thanks for stealing my brand 'Iron Patriot'.
Tony Stark: Anyway, password, please.
Rhodey: Well, look, I gotta change it every time you hack in, Tony.
Tony Stark: It's not the '80s, nobody says "hack" any more. Give me your login.
Rhodey: "WAR MACHINE ROX" with an "X," all caps.
A Pakistani laughs and Rhodey points his shoulder gun at him. y/n and Tony are also using it.
Tony Stark: That is so much better than "Iron Patriot."
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On a stage in a theatre, a presenter stands with a group of skimpily dressed ladies.
EMCEE: Very nice. Very nice. I have one question for you. What would you like for Christmas this year?
Elk Ridge: Well, David...
Crew: Do not erase a programme from my DVR unless you are 100% sure...
EMCEE: One more time! Ms Elk Ridge, everybody! All right.
Cameraman: Because you erase my shows!
Tony and y/n sneak around the back of a few vans. They eventually get in one and Tony starts messing with the wiring.
Tony Stark: That ain't gonna cut it.
Cameraman: We talked about this. Excuse me, sir. I don't know who...
Tony turns around.
Tony Stark: Shh.
Cameraman: Mom, I need to call you back. Something magical is happening... Tony Stark is in my van.
Tony Stark: Shh. Keep it down.
Cameraman: Tony Stark is in my van!
y/n: No, he's not.
Cameraman: y/n Romanoff is in my van! I knew you were still alive!
y/n: Come on in. Close the door.
