thoughts

12

i was so blinded by your love because of my vulnerability. you took advantage of me being scared of falling in love. you made me feel so safe only to break me down into pieces. i tried so hard to forget about you yet i still tend to think about you everyday. your presence is something i will always miss. and the adoration in your eyes when you looked at me is something i wish i could see in another lovers eyes again. see, i look at the ones i love with the same eyes you gave me, yet i never get the same in return, and i think that's why it hurts so badly to be in love with anybody else but you. i will never be able to say if i ever did love you, but whatever we had, it made me feel so special. you risked everything just to love me and you made me feel like the only person in the world. when i was with you, i was obsessed with convincing myself that we had a future, but i knew we didn't deep down. i knew that whatever we had wasn't going to last long, and maybe that's why i became so attached at your hip so easily. i clung onto you for dear life because i was so scared of losing someone who i believed loved me again. i'm sorry. i need to let you go. i was only another person in your book of plays. i need to stop admiring you like you did anything good for me. i was only there for you to see how easy it was to pull girls. you played with the strings of my heart a little to aggressively, and maybe that's why you're gone.