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i always talk about how every relationship i've been in has been shitty. and that the other person was toxic and treated me poorly. what if it's me that's toxic? i've been in 4 relationships and all of them are the toxic ones? i doubt it. it makes me feel guilty about myself. what if it is me? what if i caused them to lash out and pop pills and rape me? what if it's my fault?

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