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*whispering* dazai angst.
uhh not really any ships
mostyl j me projecting onto dazai 🤷♂️
TW: DARK ERA DAZAI,
SEXUAL HARASSMENT, ABUSE,
MANIPULATION AND SELF HARM!
THIS WILL INCLUDE GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS
OF VIOLENCE! PLEASE PROCEED AT YOUR OWN
RISK!
my problem, it's my problem. that i never am happy.
"kill him." the voice ran through his ears like bells. he didnt want to kill anyone. that wasnt what he wanted to do. but he had no other choice. not now. not when a knife was at his throat and he was trembling, his finger on the trigger. "go on now dazai, pull it. we wouldn't want you to go back onto the streets, now would we?" no, not anywhere but there. he couldn't go back so the next best option was to pull the trigger, so he did.
a loud scream rang through out the ally and he cried, he had killed a man. "shh its okay come here." he could feel soft finger run through his hair making his breathing even out a little, "you did what was necessary dazai, now he wont touch you."
it's my problem, it's my problem. on how fast i will succeed.
he entered the room before he feel onto his knees. he didnt want to kill but he had to. a door slammed shut making him jump, a hand wrapped around his mouth, "stay quiet brat. we wouldn't want the boss to be fed some false info that could get you killed now would we?" he squeezed his eyes shut. someone help, please. he squirmed as he was placed onto his bed. "smile for the camera." disgusting old man.
are you satisfied with an average life? do i need to lie to make my way in life?
"thank you." he sniffled as the same fingers ran through his hair, he payed no mind the the blood that was slowly staining his bed sheets. "you should've told me sooner." he shook his head as he pointed to the phone. the man raised an eyebrow as he looked through it. ah. he smiled slightly at dazai. "come now lets get you some food." he followed still scared, there was still the others after all.
high achiever, don't you see?
the same scared boy, now 13, pulled the trigger mercilessly as he shot the woman's leg, "now tell me pretty lady, where's the money that you so rudely stole from us?" a shriek ran throughout the house as he pressed on her wounds, "oh i forgot you cant speak!" he removed the gag harshly, "see i have to make my boss happy if i wanna live so tell me where the money is!" a smile that brung terror to everyone who saw it was flashed before she pointed to a couch. he sighed before pointed the gun at her head and pulling the trigger.
"thank you milady!"
baby, nothing comes for free.
"how could he be that young and still be an executive!?" dazai sighed as his brow hair moved into his face, "because im smart i worked hard and kept my head down till he noticed. and well maybe it's because the boss has always... favored me." a look of slight disgust came on the mans face. "i know right, but nothing comes for free. "
they say i'm a control freak. driven by a greed to succeed.
"he's dead you can stop shooting." he scowled at the red head before dropping his gun, afterall he was right.
"how was it?" dazai sighed, "it was fine." he smiled as he ran finger through the others hair, "good. now get out of my sight." he nodded whispering a quick yes sir. as soon as he got out he was handed a folder with a couple papers, "a new mission already?" he still went, after all dazai was only his play toy.
nobody can stop me.
"ODASAKU!" the only man who ever truly cared for him, was now dead in his arms. he weeped as he gripped the side of his head that was usually bandaged. "please, come back odasaku..." he didnt come back. so he wasnt going to go back either. a familiar number appeared on his phone, ugh chuuya. he didnt really have the energy to deal with the red head but he had too. at least he was used to feeling like utter shit but still having to please people.
'cause it's my problem if i want to pack up and run away.
"you cant leave!" he scoffed , " you havent even been here for half of the time i have! you have no idea what hell this place is! you should shut up if you know whats good for you! do you want to know what i went through?! i think i deserve to leave after all of it!" the read head scowled, "so what!? you can't force me to join the mafia then leave me here!"
"watch me."
it's my business if i feel the need to smoke and drink and sway.
he giggled as the man in the glasses handed him another bottle, "thanks ango!" he sighed as he pushed up his glasses. "you're gonna die if you drink to much. i know you are upset but you don't need to drink your sorrows away." dazai frowned, "its not your problem if i die! let me be ango!" the man in the glasses in fact had to carry the other to his make shift home in an alleyway, "geez you think you could find a better place to stay?"
"no if i used any of my mafia money they would immediately find me." dazai whined as he was throw onto the mattress. maybe it was the fact that this had happened before that made it seem like deja vu he didnt really know. he never would.
and it's my problem if i have no friends and feel i want to die.
no more. he didn't want to cry himself to sleep every night, he was so tired of it. he wanted a peaceful night were he could dream something like a fairy tale, one where that man never found him on the street trapped under another old man. one where he never killed that person, one where the red haired man with the kids and him lead a happy life together, one where he didn't take his frustration out on the black haired man because he looked just like dazai when he was a kid.
one where he and the short read head never had that argument , one where he didn't have such a fucked up life. but he knew it was impossible, so instead he curled up into him self and sobbed, sobbed until there were no tears left and he couldn't feel anything. he never wanted to feel anything ever again.
