'Till forever h.s.

The kind you've always known(12)

TW: Trauma and panic attacks

This morning I woke up still dreaming
With memories playing through my head
You'll never know how much I miss you 
The day that they took you,
I wish it was me instead.

~~~two of us by Louis Tomlinson~~~

Davina's POV

They're gonna kill me.

After running away from my own family, my traumatic past and horrific present, I end up with four random people who want the same as me, my dad out of the picture. But they're going to kill me.

After we ran away from all the shooting, I made a vow to myself that I would do whatever it took to take down this whole thing my dad has going on. As far as I okie he made thousands of people suffer and I'm just one of them.

I thought I would have time to plan on how to proceed with this but now it is obvious time isn't on my side. The only thing I can do is convincing those men I'm worth keeping alive, even if I don't believe it myself. I wouldn't have an issue with them killing me quickly if it wasn't for the small part in me that wants to see how all of this shit will end up.

The easiest way to the center of their group seeks to be Harry, don't get me wrong he seems like a total psycho but he also seems very protective of what is his. I noticed his possessive hand on my arms when Louis suggested that crazy idea, or how he would glance at my lips every once in a while with lustful thoughts dancing behind his eyes.

He doesn't care about me or what happens, that's a fact. But he does care if he's the one deciding on what to do, so I'll use that in my favor.

I have to get closer to him even if it seems like an incredible difficult task. My only issue is that I have the seduction skills of a cabbage and he is very closed off, so the easiest way to his mind is through his dick. This is not how I was planning on going with this, fuck.

This is fine, I'm fine. If I become something that he cares about the slightest bit then he won't let the other guys kill me or Zayn.

Or so I hope.

"Whose murder are you plotting?" Zayn questions right after coming out of the toilet, with a towel hanging low on his hips.

Hopefully not ours.

Me and Zayn haven't talked a lot since we got here, just small talk here and there but I can still sense the uneasiness and lack of trust.

"Just lost in my thoughts," I murmur and notice that my cheeks are weirdly damp. I bring my hand up and realize it is from tears. Have I been crying this whole time?

Zayn seems to notice my state and walks close to the bed, looking down at me, "Davina are you okay?"

It felt different.

Everything around me zoned out as a wave of discomfort washes through me. My chest heaved and I was incredibly aware of my increasing heartbeat.

No no no, not here.

My heart trashed against my rib cage, filling me up with air that seemed to have become ten times thicker than it was five seconds ago.

The uneasiness started rising from deep in my spine, bringing the unavoidable feeling that made my whole body tremble. I knew what was about to come.

"Davina?" Zayn's muffled voice speaks through my myriad of thoughts, his hand on my knee and what was once a soft touch, felt like a thousand small needles perforating my skin.