He Needs Me (Wattys 2020)

56

Why the hell is this happening.

Why do I feel like forgiving him as if he did nothing to me. He ruined my life, slowly but surely.

I'm a strong woman I shouldn't be breaking so damn easily I don't understand.

When I saw him in Jamals home I was so close to tears. His beard has grown slightly and his dark circles look even darker. He's suffering and I should be happy but no, I'm worried.

A part of me doesn't want him to suffer like I did simply because that's not the person I am.

"He's still outside" I heard dad whisper to Shazia as I entered the kitchen. Pulling at the hem of my shirt I inhaled a deep breath of air.

Still? It's almost 12am and it's freezing outside.

No stop it Storm stop it.

Clenching my jaw I took a seat on the sofa, dad and Shazia joined me hurriedly. Ever since this morning they've been slightly quiet, I think Jamal might have told them he came.

"This is my favourite movie" Shazia smiled pressing on an Indian movie.

Dad rolled his eyes with a small smile
"Darling you know I don't understand this"

"Well you can read" she mocked pointing at the subtitles, I couldn't help but smile.

These 2 are the cutest.

"Storm you'll love this, there's so much fights and robberies" She giggled

"You know me so well"

The title flashed on the screen,
Tees mar khan

I've never seen this movie before and I've watched a lot of them.

We were half way through the movie when a loud bang echoed through the whole apartment followed by a flash of light, oh God. My soul left my body.

Shazia and dad looked at the window worriedly as did I. No no no, God no.

Quickly running towards the window my heart dropped as I spotted him in the same place. Leaning against his G wagon dripping with water without a care. The strike of lightening not bothering him one bit.

No.

Without thinking I dashed towards the door only wearing dads baggy t shirt.

Instead of taking the elevator I sprinted down the stairs, my heart beat thundering as I did.

I reached the door within minutes. Quickly slamming the main door open I entered the freezing cold rain.

Andrei noticed me seconds later, his body tensed immediately.

"Storm"

I stood a few feet away from him
"Andrei go home " I yelled tiredly, why is doing this to me. Why!

"Do you forgive me?" he asked adamantly, the rain and lightening not affecting him one bit.

"I don..."

Andrei interrupted me with a sigh
"Ok go back inside you'll get ill"

Wait what!

"Are you kidding me! You'll get ill too" I yelled furiously, he's been in the rain for a few hours he's going to catch a cold like no other.

"Just go inside Storm"

He turned around and pulled out a cigarette from a metal case, placing it on his lips he lit it.

"Why are doing this to me Andrei, go home!" I screamed again running my free hand through my hair. I could feel tears threatening to escape.

I can't leave him here I can't.

"You know exactly why, need I say it again?" He spoke leaning against the car, Andrei's body seemed to tense once again, the smoke from the bigger age escaped his lips at a leisurely pace.

"This is desire and nothing more"

Andrei scoffed, suddenly furious
"Would I be standing in the middle of an oncoming storm for some pussy?" Throwing his cig to the ground he looked back at me taking a step closer "I can get pussy anywhere anytime but that's not what I fucking want!"

A little piece of me woke up at his comment, not the aww he's so cute side but my humour.
"You want dick?" I whispered, it's been ages since I've done this.

A smile took over his lips
"There's the storm I know" he leant forward taking my cold hand into his, my body began to unconsciously lean towards him

Andrei placed his other hand on my chin with his thumb grazing my lips gently. A beautiful feeling ran down my spine.

But before we could get any closer my sensibility hit me like a truck. I shouldn't do this, I can't do this.

"No Andrei" I whispered taking my hand out of his, he dropped them and placed them inside his trouser pockets. His clenched jaw protesting his frustration.

"Go inside" he mumbled turning away from me, a hint of defeat lingering on his body.

After all he did to me and all he put me through in a way he saved me, from suffering. From being taken by any other mafia.

From being sold and raped by men who only wanted to use me for my skills.

Yes this man fucking tortured me, my finger grazed over the bumpy skin gently, but what am I to do.

Fuck, why do I feel like this, why can I feel myself forgiving him. This cannot be ok, I'm a strong woman, I didn't need him before and I don't need him now.

Then why is a part of me begging to be in his arms.

Why is a part of me screaming to be with him to feel safe.

I can't deny the feelings I have for him, what in the Stockholm syndrome is this!

I turned gently to see him leaning on the door, his body sagging in defeat and guilt as the heavy rain poured on to his white shirt.

Without thinking I ran back up to him, he raised his brows in confusion, before he could say anything I grabbed his face and pulled him in for a heated kiss.

He replied instantly.

The harsh rain pounding on our bodies did nothing to pull us away. Andrei placed his right hand on my neck and gently squeezed making me gasp in pleasure.

Pulling away to breath I placed my forehead on his, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"After everything you've done to me I can't seem to hate you, I can't" I whispered leaning my forehead against him.

"Why"

"Andrei-"

"Habibti please" he interrupted, he wants to know why, why I'm not running back inside, why I'm standing in front of him in his arms.

" after all you put me through, everything you did to me you always came to save me. Albeit late at times, you came" Andrei clenched remembering what happened when he was late " you saved me"

I could finally admit it. Andrei saved my life. Andrei saved my life.

At the same time he made me want to fucking kill myself but he save me. God what is this mess.

This is bitter sweet, I can't fully believe what's going on right now. I've forgiven him after all he's done, am I wrong here or is this right.

Maybe for once I need to stop thinking in order to be ok. Even before Andrei I was never ok, always worried about our debt and our future but now I have nothing to worry about.

Sargent is put away and our debt is gone.

"Fuck Storm you have no idea how much I need you in my life, by my side and in my arms" he whispered, his tears joining with the harsh rain as they slid down his cheeks.

He needs me.

VERY CLOSE TO THE END BABIES