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Yep I have definitely signed my death certificate, I kinda maybe have gone a little bit too far. Just a little though.

So when my brain said  "Woooooo Storm go draw a penis on the wall" my body screamed  "No draw a MILLION"

AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IVE DONE.

If I'm being honest it actually looks kind of amazing, like Leonardo da vinci if he was into dick. The dim bulb shinning a spotlight onto my favourite art piece adds to my artistic vision, absolutely amazing.

Every single wall contains around 20 dicks, all shapes and sizes cause we don't discriminate #Allsizesmatter

My favourite wall is the one in front of the door, Ive painted a micropenis and a big titted blonde woman attempting to hold it. Above the woman there's a big fat speech bubble that reads.

"Atleast this won't take long"

I really do find myself too funny I thought giggling at the portrait. I should've became an artist not a thief.

Then one day in the future someone could be stealing my painting. Oh what a life it could have been.

Standing beside the door I smirked at my masterpieces one last time, who knows if I'll even be alive to see them after Andrei sees them.

Oops, speak of the devil and he shall enter. The pounding footsteps alerted me to his foreboding presence.

Giggling manically I quickly stood beside my fav painting and smiled, a massive smile, an accomplished smile. I'm so bloody proud.

And in 3......2......

As I expected  and hoped Andrei strode confidently into the room, his eyes locked with mine. Slowly he noticed the graffitied wall, walls. His body tensed, but fury isn't visible. He seems to be trying him best to control any emotion from leaking through his facade.

A low growl escaped his lips as his hands tensed beside him, the light from outside casts a devilish glow on his features, if I wasn't so distracted I'd definitely find him hot , I wanted to forget about his looks but God had other plans.

His stare is an oddly calm one, not exactly what I expected and that makes me feel a little scared. Only a little. When Andrei' mad it's easy compute and it doesn't scare me too much, but when he's like this, blank, that's when the fear kicks in.

"Who gave you paints?" He asked, his arms folded across his muscular chest. I copied his movement and tilted my head to the side with a smile.

"They were up my asshole, asshole"

Still blank.

"Eehira I asked you a question"

"And I answered it"

"You haven't seen it yet" he breathed, tiredly I might add. Like he expects every one of my antics. Squinting at him I tilted my head even more.

"Seen what?"

"My dick Ya Hayati" he stated in a duh tone, with a subtle roll of his eyes, yes I've officially messed up.

Slapping some fake confidence on I shook my head and sighed.
" I'm sorry my prostitution days are over, I don't do that any more" I answered just as seriously as his whole persona

"Ahhh finally admitting your a whore, glad your accepting the fact" he came closer with every word threateningly.

"Whore, virgin. I mean same thing right. I've mentally had sex with the entire planet and before you ask yes because of the mental sex I have Hiv and Aids" I mumbled, whilst using sporadic hand gestures. My brain is in absolute overdrive, that's what happens when I'm borderline scared.

Keeping my gaze locked with Andrei's I smirk, happy with my work. A few seconds of staring later Andrei removed his gaze from me, honestly I think I've won.

But that thinking didn't last more than a few seconds, whilst I was distracted by my apparent victory Andrei slammed the door shut and strode towards me.

Still no anger radiating of his body. That's even hotter.

Andrei tilted his head to the right allowing his minty breath hit my cold cheek, with a malicious smirk he grabbed my cheek roughly. I held in the scream that wanted to escape my lips, his eyes captivated mine in a trance, forcing me to stay.

"There's something so enticing about your attitude, the sass" his finger glides against my soft jawline
"So fucking sad that I'm going to have to get rid of it "

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