The night he took me away

Chapter 47

Ava

      Kiara was turning 4 years old today. Her vocabulary has been broadening just like her size. She looked beautiful. Rosy cheeks and brownish hair fell on her shoulders. The way she fluently spoke amazed me.
She's a smart girl. Loving and Kind as well. And everyone who came across her admired her grace and beauty. Her blue eyes just like her father's and brown colored hair like mine. She looked like a doll itself. So small and fragile.
Every night she fell asleep in my arms cause she confessed she was scared of the tall men who she called 'strangers'. But it wasn't the way they looked that frightened her. It was the way they raised their voice.
The worst of it was that they screamed at me. And she saw the fear in my eyes. But she's too young to understand why am I being yelled at like that.
Too young to understand everything that is happening to us.
Most of the time, Francesco found a way to bring our daughter to our room, so she could sleep at our side because the moment when she didn't find me in her room, she cried endlessly that made my heart throb.
Francesco felt the same thing but mixed with the feeling of hatred knowing he couldn't do anything about it, cause his father's orders couldn't be disobeyed.
Even Alfonso worried every time she did that, cause he thought something had happened to her.
The one thing I hated about was that he spent a lot of time with her. He always took her away from me by giving Kiara a lame excuse that he had gotten her a present or a dessert.
He smiled and played with her like if it was his. His property. She was the first woman, girl...he hasn't harmed.
Yet...
Although he got closer to her and Kiara's blindless couldn't see the monster she was playing with, I knew that at least, Kiara could be save for now.
No man in the house could lay a hand on her meanwhile, she's this age. But I know that once she turns fifteen, her innocence won't save her anymore. That's why we are close for our day.
The day where we finally leave this place. Forever.
These past four years had been complicated. Alfonso increased the vigilance and placed more cameras due to his new enemies that increased after his improved sales of women, drugs, and guns.
     The reason he did it was because of Kiara. He has been hiding her identity...well, her existence I would say, cause if someone knows he has a spot for her, they will hurt her.
       Their closeness even terrified me. I couldn't let Kiara love such a man. He did not deserve any kindness or smile she gave.
       Little does she know that not only cameras increased but so did punishments when I dared to go against him. He slapped me every time I did and it got worse when Francesco every time defended me, and we both ended in the basement for a week at least. Not much longer because of Kiara crying for us.
       Thank God she did.
      But I knew that when Francesco and I got stuck in the darkness, starving and sleepless, Matteo was taking good care of her. Even he got a spot for her.
     And he was the only one Kiara did not call 'stranger' but 'mama's friend'.
      I saw a few times how he got overprotective when the other men got near to observe her. Including when Alfonso holds her.
      It warmed my heart when he did cause if anything happened to Francesco and me, he would take good care of Kiara. I felt relief knowing he was near her or me.
      Throughout these four years, he got stronger and I could see how the smiling men I once met, disappeared. His face remained cold just like Francesco's.
      And now I was beginning to have one too. This house prevented me to be happy with my family. I couldn't find a reason to smile like I used to. I cried most of the nights and fell asleep in the arms of my husband, or caressed by my own daughter.
     Sometimes I thought I was losing my mind. And indeed I am.
      I sigh and close my eyes not before Francesco coming inside. Still with my eyes closed, I felt how he laid beside me, and felt like he was pulling me towards him.
     "What's the matter, Angel?" Francisco whispered and I smiled as a tear fell in the mattress.
     "I'm falling apart." I pause. "I feel like at any moment I might hit the ground." I turn my head sideways and notice Francesco's worried expression. "I feel dead inside, " I finally confess. "And the only thing that is keeping me alive is you and Kiara."
       More tears fall on my cheeks and he lifts his hand to gently wipe them.
       "You know that we are still alive because of her."
    He nods slightly.
        "I know."
    He continued caressing my cheek until he finally pulled me closer, making me feel a few knives and a gun in his holder.
       His breathe tenses and his grip is tighter.
         "Is something wrong?" I asked with a low broken voice.
         "You have been lying to me, " he says in a raspy voice.
      I went silent but my chest tightened.
          "You think I haven't seen you?"
    I try to get off his hold but he doesn't let me. Suddenly he turns me around and he's above me.
         "I know you haven't gotten your period."
       I swallow harshly and look away.
           "I'm."
     He clenches his jaw.
           "Say it, " he says in a lower voice.
           "I think I'm pregnant."
     His hold softens and slowly lays in my head on my chest meanwhile, I cried silently.
      Years ago I had the same pregnancy scare even though Francesco had managed to get protection for us. I wanted to ask for a pregnancy test from the maids but I knew to better that they were loyal to Alfonso. They only gossip and devour me with their judgemental looks. Even though it's only five of them, I don't trust any at all.
       I never warned Francesco about it cause, in the end, it wasn't serious when three days later I got my period. But now the symptoms were clear. Most of the time I wanted to throw up and he had seen me in the middle of the night.
     I used to give him lame excuses of the food sitting bad for me or normally the symptoms during my period.
       However now I couldn't lie to his eyes. It was clear that having a baby, like he and I had been worried to isn't a good idea. But I was afraid that if he knew he would suggest something that I would go against.
        "I was going to tell you but I was scared to."
    My hands shake but he only hugs me and remains immobile.
         "What are we going to do?" I finally asked, and that's when he lifted his hand and looked at me deeply. There was uncertainty and fear in them just like mine. His silence only made me anxious and eager to hear his next words.
        "Hide him. We are going to keep it a secret." He murmurs something to himself that I'm not able to hear and he finally straightens.
       "Hide him? Until when? In five months my bump will be noticeable." I shake my head.
"I'll come up with something."
He turns around and leaves me in ache. I cover my eyes with my bare hands and cry more, praying not to be, at least not now.
After crying out endlessly, I went towards Kiara's room.
Matteo's eyes scanned me and it made me realize that my eyes were probably red. He didn't say anything as he opened the door for me.
"Hi, mommy!" Kiara smiled as she played with her dolls and other toys on the floor.
I smile. "Hi, my love. Sorry that I kept you waiting. Mommy needed some time alone." I sat with her and noticed from the corner of my eye how Matteo stood inside to watch us the whole time.
Even when an hour passed by I had forgotten that he was still here.
"Where's daddy? Is he with grandpa?"
I nod. "Probably."
         "Is he going to come?"
     She looks at me with hopeful eyes that made my heart melt.
          "He will."
    I caress her cheek and that's when she glances at Matteo.
          "Can Matteo play with us meanwhile, daddy comes?"
       I turn around and smile at him.
          "You finally told her your name?"
       He glances at Kiara and hides his smile. "She begged and I couldn't say no."
          I make space for him, pushing her toys away so he could sit beside me. We both looked at him and surprisingly he agreed.
     Kiara introduced him all her dolls before she began narrating a story of her own.
         "Are you okay?" Matteo asks.
     I turn sideways and gave a simple nod.
         "I need to hear your words."
      I nod again, tears gathering in my eyes. "I'm fine."
        He tilted his head and there was a hint of anger on his face. "Did he hit you?"
          "What?! No."
       He remained silent as I tried to come up with something else cause I wasn't ready to confess to him that I'm pregnant.
           "I...just feel a lot of resentment towards Alfonso." I pause. "I feel like I'm a prisoner. I'm treated like nothing here." I glance at Kiara. "All I want is a normal life. Or at least for her."
         "Francesco will give you that." He turns to look at me. "If he helped you once, and he will do it as many times as needed."
         "So you heard of his betrayal." I clean my wet cheeks.
       He nods. "That's what everyone says when they see him, 'a traitor.' Even if he hasn't committed true treason against his father, they still call him that way for other things he has supposedly done."
            I roll my eyes. "Rumors."
          His eyebrows furrow. "Some things can be possibly true, Ava. Francesco is still an aggressive man."
        Does he really believe in those rumors?! Coming from those assholes who hate him?
       "Aren't you one too?"
       "I'm but the difference between me and him is that I don't feel good as I kill someone. Guilt carries within me." He gets closer and I lean back a little. "Are you okay with him being like that?"
     I swallow harshly.
         "Mommy you aren't hearing the story!" Kiara complains as she notices that we have been distracted.
      I sigh in relief cause she helped me ignore the question, Matteo craved to know.
      Yes, I'm okay with it. All those disgusting men who touch girls as they please deserve it.
          "I'm listening my love. Go on."
   She scratched her nose and continued to play.
          "I love him as he is, Matteo. His qualities and flaws, " I confess, his breathing changing.
      He clenched his jaw.
          "I know." His eyes scan me. "Did you ever loved me that way? That intensely?"
       I sigh and place my hand on his cheek, his eyes closing as he placed his hand above mine.
          "I still love you Matteo—" I bit my lip. "But not like I do with him. Not that way." I shook my head. "Not anymore."
     The words felt bitter in my mouth. And the way he looked at me seemed like I had just shot him. He looked hurt and forgotten.
      Why do keep asking if you know the answer?
      He removed my hand and glanced at Kiara.
          "You knew the answer. I expressed my feelings clearly."
         "I guess I tend to confuse kindness with flirting."
     I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear and try to soothe him but he backs away. He quickly straightens and turns his back to me.
         "Don't leave me like this." He stops in the middle of the room. "I need you, Matteo. You're the only one I can count on. The only one whom I can trust."
       "We are old enough to handle this matter, Ava. To handle it like adults." He pauses. "I won't leave you, I promise. I'll try to get you both out of here even if Francesco and I need to work together to do so. But don't act like we are best pals."
     He looks at me with hurtful eyes. "It hurts when I see you with him. But if by being friends or accomplices means I get to keep you close to me at least, then it's fine by me."
      He takes a few more steps, and before he opens the door, he finally asks, "When I kissed you that night...did you even felt something? At least the minimum?"
        My shoulders tense and I'm left speechless.
       "Did you or did you not?"
    I'm sorry.
        I shake my head.  "I didn't."
   His hands turn into a tight grip and finally leaves, slamming the door a bit too hard.
    My eyes squeezed at the sound and I'm taking back to reality when Kiara's voice echoed in the room. "Why did he leave?"
        "He got back to work. He...he has to do other stuff." I ran a hand through her hair as I try my best to seem unaffected by Matteo's reaction.
         "Oh."
         "Maybe you could tell Daddy the ending of your story."
     She smiled again but shook her head.
          "I still don't know how it will end."
          "You'll figure it out. Something's going to pop in your head at any moment. Make sure is good."
      She nods and brings other toys.
   

'Did you even felt something?'
I didn't, but I still love you. Deeply.
You'll always have a spot in my heart.
You know it.