•MADIRA VARMA•
An innocent and chirpy girl whose whole world revolves around her small little family. Anyone who sees her would agree without a second thought that she is the perfect definition of beauty and innocence. Maturity with childishness and...
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"Hi!" I squeaked as I opened the door wide for Mohit to come inside my house. We only met outside in public places till now. This is the first time we are meeting alone or in each others houses. And it's making me nervous.
I don't live with my parents. My parents live in Delhi. We used to live in Mumbai since I was a kid but then five years ago due to work Dad got transferred to Delhi and we had to move. I stayed there for one year and came back since I can't stay away from my girls. And anyway my job and my life is here.
I brought a two bedroom apartment fully furnished with the money I earned from part time jobs and I am so proud when I brought my humble abode.
Mohit looked around my house with a small smile and he turned to look at me.
"You have a beautiful house Zeesh" he said smiling at me and it melted my heart! Gosh! He is so handsome! I thought dreamily.
I have never been in a relationship before. This is the first time I am putting my heart on a silver platter and handing it to some other person. LGBTQ is not something which is widely accepted in India. I mean now everybody are more open but still many are apprehensive of it. When I came out to my parents all kinds of scenarios started playing in my head and I didn't know how it would turn out. With the support from my girls and by Gody grace my parents were very open-minded about it and they helped me feel comfortable in my own skin.
I have tried dating men but everything went in drain because I am too shy when it comes to that. And nobody just clicked with me. But Mohit is different. He is amazing! He is the kind of guy you would wanna share your life with. And I want to......except I don't know if he wants to.
A strong sense of fear grips my heart everytime I think of how this could be just a casual thing to him and that I don't mean anything to him. It tears my insides and leaves me in pain. I don't want to confront him about our relationship and scare him. But it's necessary.
What Madi and Ayesh said are true. I have to communicate with him otherwise I am going to think of all kinds of scenarios and explode my mind myself!
"Thank you! Please sit down! Do you want anything? Water? Coffee? Tea?" I went on speaking non-stop like I do when I am nervous.
He chuckled and settled down on my couch before saying.
"Water would do just fine. Thanks!" He said and I excused myself to get it for him.
I rushed into my kitchen and gulped down a glass of water myself to calm down. I poured water in one glass and took a deep breath before going outside.
He was sitting and just looking around. I put on a smile to not appear nervous and went to him giving him the glass.
"So.....how was work today?" I asked him in hopes of starting a conversation and pushing this awkwardness away. Told you this is the first time we are alone in a private space and......it's giving me thoughts. Dirty thoughts.
