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Chapter 30
I thought i was fine, seriously.
I was fine when i ate takeout with Jimin and Mr.Kim, i was fine when Mr.Kim said nothing else to me other than the fact that he was dropping me off at Heathers in a bit.
I was fine in the car ride home when all there was, was silence. He hadn't even glanced at me and i was fine, really.
He hadn't dropped me off at the door, just watched me from the car. I was fine until then.
Only when Heather had opened the door for me and led me to her room, all worried about how pale i looked, did i let it all out.
I didn't even realize at first, Heather had pointed it out.
"Celia, you're shaking!" she gasps, turning me around to face her.
When i'm facing her, i couldn't see through the tears that'd started flowing down my eyes and i let out a strangled noise close to a cry.
"oh my god celia!" Heather hugs me, "you were fine on the call so i didn't think it affected you that much bu-"
I lean back shaking my head, the big lump in my throat not letting me speak out as i hug her again tighter.
I was aware of how confused i must've made her but i didn't care, i just needed someone to hold onto, anyone that wouldn't leave me in the end.
Although i'd never thought like this before, right now i couldn't help but wonder if even Heather would stay with me till the very end.
When she leads me to the bed for us to sit down, all i could manage to say was, "he hates me,". I choke on a cry, wiping my tears with my sleeve.
"everyone hates me," i continue, "no one likes me enough to stay," my voice cracks on the last word and Heathers face changes into one of trying to understamd what i was saying to one of concern and shock.
"what do you mean? You have Mark and I always, you know that right?" she tells me seriously, "even if everyone ends up hating you for murder, we'll be there with you," she says with a straight face.
I didn't know how to feel about that sudden confession, laugh or cry?
"you're not 'everyone'" i decide to say, too tired to even comment on whatever she just said.
"is this about Taehyung? Or... you're parents?" she says the last bit a bit quieter, sadder.
Just hearing that made more tears flow from my eyes, "i dont know?" sniffling a bit, i wipe my tears again, "I decided i'd give up on Mr.Kim but he just keeps on making me want him,"
