My Winchester - Book 2 - Life and Death

Untitled Part 22

Dean drives. He drives and he keeps on driving. The whole thing is a fucking haze. The things he saw. Bobby gone, Cas dying because of him, Sam being possessed by Lucifer, and you... Everything else he saw coming but not what happened to you. He knew that he'd break you someday but not the way he just saw his future self would. You was his plaything. You bore his child, and still, he didn't care. Dean is scared of what all he will have to go through to do that to the woman he loves. He knows that he has no right to call you that. He has treated you nothing better than John treated Dean. Only loving you when he wanted to and snapping at you when there's too much going on.

He wanted to treat you better. So much better. He wanted to fall at your feet, apologize for everything he has done. He wanted to treat you the way you deserves to be. He wanted to love you till the day the light in your eyes he never got to see yet, comes alive. He wanted to wash his sins off with his love for you and be yours till however long you'd want him to be. But Winchester love kills. And Dean would rather have you alive and hating him than to die loving him. you don't deserve to be treated poorly. And neither do you deserve to die because of loving him. You're better off hating him than anything else.

And yet he drives. Because you're awake and he's been waiting. He just wants to hear your voice again. He was willing to hear you scream at him as much as you want. He was going to let you do anything but all Dean needs to feel you alive against him. He just wants to replace the memory of you dying in his hands as he clung onto you as if he were trying to keep you together. He just wants it all to go away. For both you and him

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You sat up with a gasp. You were in your soft white PJs on your bed back at Bobby's. This made no sense. You wondered if this was what heaven was like. Must be. Because your guts were not in your hands and there was not a single scar on your body.

"You're up" Bobby's gruff voice came from your door. You turned to look at him only for your jaw to drop open.

"Breathtaking look, isn't it?" He guffawed. He was in a wheelchair, and he looked as disgruntled as an old bird with clipped wings.

"What happened to you?" You clambered off the bed and walked over to him, carefully studying his legs. No. There were no plasters. Which meant he didn't break his leg.

"Demons. Meg."

"Meg!!??"

"Yeah."

"I thought we tossed her ass back to hell."

"Yeah well, when we popped open hell's lid back in Wyoming, she and a lot of other sons of bitches got a ticket to planet earth." Bobby scoffed.

"Where the hell was she all these years then?" You asked.

"Planning this apocalypse shit."

"Bobby, your legs. You gonna walk again?" You asked softly.

He looked at you with pity in his eyes. Whether it was directed to you or to himself, you did not know. "Don't you think I'd have asked you not to worry if I was gonna walk again?"

You gathered him in a hug. It was an awkward position, with him in the chair. But it was still a hug. "You're still Bobby Singer."

"I ain't no hunter."

"You were always better than one." You kissed his cheek and pulled a rare smile from his old saggy face.

"You've been out for a few days, you know?"

"What!!??" You were back to freaking out. "Where the hell are Sam and Dean?"

Your question was met with silence.

"They're gone aren't they?" Silence again. "They're dead..." You staggered back and fell onto your bed. Is this what vertigo feels like? You ask yourself because it sure as hell felt like it.

"No, they're not. They went different ways." Bobby quickly corrected you.

"They went what? Where the hell are they, Bobby?"

"Dean's huntin'. God knows where Sam is. Cas is okay too, by the way."

You didn't know what to make of this.

"God knows where Sam is? Bobby what-"

"Jenna?" A deep husky and familiar voice broke from before you.

"Dean," You breathed out. You didn't have to take a step towards him because he was all over you in no time. He held you, a hand around your waist and one cradling yourhead close to his. You were off your feet as you gripped him back just as tightly. You wanted to ask if he had heard you back at the altar. But you know he hadn't. So you let it go but not him and he not of you.

"I thought I lost you." He said absent mindedly, lost in the feeling of having you in his arms alive. It was like a fever dream for him as much as it was for you.

The relief of having that one person in your arms after thinking that you lost them forever, is incomparable. To feel that is next to salvation, and Dean was there. More than you but he'll never let you know. He vowed that the moment your future self told him - "If you think you have a heart, do me a favor and leave me the fuck alone. Leave Cas the fuck alone."

With your future self's words e choining in his mind, he pulls away a little too quickly, leaving you stunned. You look up at him in confusion as his eyes flit all over the room but land on you. Bobby had wheeled himself out and neither of you had noticed. When the silence still hung in the air and he said nothing, you understood what he was doing. Dean Winchester was being a pussy.

Something in him assured you that he liked you back. Maybe it was the fact that he literally threw himself over you and was pulling a Bella Swan on you. Dean was no blank slate of a snob but he was being a prissy hormonal teenager and you left that behind the day you turned legal. So you left Dean behind standing alone in your room as you started to storm out. But the thought of the other Winchester stopped you.

"Where's Sam?" You asked curtly.

"I don't know." He muttered. "We fought." He added after a beat

"Fucking toddlers is what you are." You said through gritted teeth, anger mostly directed towards Dean but also towards Sam because GOD, are they dumb? Fighting when the devil's on your ass and SPLITTING? Fucking nitwits.

You bristled your way down the stairs wondering where had Cas fucked off to now.