My Winchester - Book 2 - Life and Death

3. Memories

Everything was going as you had planned. You baked more, watched more movies, and binged on a couple of tv shows. No matter how much you ate, you lost weight. Thankfully, the tumor did nothing to your glorious hair. If there was anything worth looking at on you, it was your hair. And the rest of you looked as lifeless as a mannequin these days. 

The only thing that bothered you was your memories of Dean. How things ended between you two. How you didn't get to say goodbye. Once in a few days, you would just sit down and sob until your nose bleeds. Bleeding noses were a thing now. It became so frequent, that you started ignoring the bloodstains you started leaving on your clothes. 

Bobby was dealing in his own way. Liquor. 

Sam... he was a stranger now. He wasn't being a stranger to you, but was definitely a brand new person. One Winchester brother without another is NOT good and you knew that very well now. Sam had found other ways to distract himself from his loss. He started dating a brunette. A few inches taller than you but definitly still way too short for Sam. Her name was Ruby. Eventhough he had been seeing her for four months now, sometimes the way he talked about her seemed like they had more of a  professional relationship than a romantic one and you had a gut feeling that the relationship was pretty unhealthy. But Sam seemed happy and distracted around her, so you dropped the thought.

You were on your bed tired and reading Moby Dick when your doorbell rang. It sure as hell weren't anyone from the neighborhood. Your bloodstained clothes freaked them out and no one talked to you anymore, and you couldn't care less. they were annoying anyway. So it was either Bobby or Sam. You didn't want them to see you in your bloody t-shirt so you changed it and started walking down the stairs. The doorbell rang again.

You opened the door, sighing because you had to get off of your bed. Sam and Bobby stood before you.

"You guys are gonna have to climb in through my window next time. I don't wanna get my ass off fo my bed." You commanded. "Come in." you smiled and stepped back so that they can come into your house, but they stood there looking kind of shocked. You hand suddenly shot up to examine your nose but it wasn't bleeding. Why are they looking so perplexed? And yet kind of relieved.... "What is it?" you asked, leaning onto the doorframe for support. Cancer hasn't been a sweetheart lately.

Sam stepped forward and held you by your shoulders and cleared your throat. "Just..." he gulped. 

"Just what? Don't freak out?" you joked, but deep inside you were already freaking out a little bit.

Sam's eyes shot up from the ground to your eyes as you asked that. "y-yes... Don't... freak out." He stammered and then gulped. You looked up at him confused and you opened your mouth to ask something but cat got your tongue. "We checked...Double.. no..triple checked. Its him and he's human. Not a demon, a shapeshifter or a revenant. Its alright. Don't freak out and...Don't be scared. Bobby and I will be in the car." after he said this, he let you go and stepped back and walked away with Bobby.

What in the everloving fuck??!! You stood there dumbfounded. What the hell was he talking about? Did he bring someone with... your thoughts were silenced when he stepped in front of you. Your eyes were blown wide as you still stood there awkwardly leaning onto your doorframe. No..you were now clutching onto it. Then, Sam's words rang in your head. Triple checked. Its him and he's human..... "Dean!!" Not a demon, a shapeshifter or a revenant.

He smiled at you looking guilty as hell. He even looked a bit scared. His eyes went wide as he saw your fist land on his face. You punched him in the face...the first thing that came to your mind when you saw him was that night at the motel. He looked back up at you and his face screamed that he knew that he deserved that. You then held him by his neck and pulled him into the biggest hug, you've ever given someone. He was startled at first but hugged you back, his fingers clutching onto your loose grey sweatshirt. You hug him for a while breathing shakily, not understanding what exactly you were hugging. "I'm so sorry, Dean. I should have been there with you. For y... for both of you. I'm so sorry." You let go but he still held onto you. You felt his tears wetting your shirt and then you remembered lying limp in the bathtub, your blood on your fingers... the blood this very man drew. 

You roughly pushed him away. You wanted to ask him how he was alive. You wanted to ask him why he was here. Why he hurt you. Why he never loved you... But instead, you calmed yourself down.

"Jenna, I.."

"You should leave." you cut him off. He opened his mouth to speak but you didn't let him. "Now!" you raised your voice and shut the door on his face.

He stood there, washed over by a fresh wave of guilt and self-loathing. You were his best friend. He didn't like showing affection but he loved you. He always assumed that you knew that. But apparently, you didn't. He dropped his head and walked back to the Impala. When Sam saw him walking back to them sooner than he had expected, he jumped out of the car and walked to Dean. Dean didn't meet his eyes and walked past him and opened the door of the Impala. Sam strode over with a confused face and pushed the door shut. 

Dean shot him an angry face "What do you think you're doing?"

"What the hell happened back there? Didn't you guys talk?" Sam asked feeling a bit agitated.

Dean sighed exhasperatedly. Sam was not gonna let him go anywhere unless he answered his questions and Dean knew that more than anyone else. "She punched me in the face. And then hugged me like no one ever has, and then pushed me away and asked me to leave. Anything else you wanna know, Sammy?" Dean opened the door again and Sam shut it; again.

"Actually, yes. Did you apologise to her?" Sam asked, pushing Dean away from the car so that he doesn't jump in the next chance he gets.

"No," Dean sighed. "But she did."

"What?" Sam was baffled now. She apologised? "What on earth for?"

"For leaving us. For not being there for us. And it's not like I didn't try to apologise, okay? She never gave me a chance. She yelled at me and then shut the door." Dean looked down. He wasn't angry anymore. He was guilty and hurt. He knew she had all the right to shut him out but he needed her. Now, more than ever. After everything he had been through over the past 4 months or should he say past 40 years, he needed someone to care for him. Of course he had Sammy and Bobby but he needed you too.

"We are not leaving until you two talk. Dean, there are things that you don't know about her, which I think you deserve to know. Its not something that's mine to Bobby's to share, so she will have to tell you. And you have to tell her that you are sorry. You have to let her know." Sam took Dean by his shoulders but he shrugged him off.

"We'll call her for going on hunts and she'll slowly start talking. We're not doing this now; not today." he started towards the car but Sam blocked him.

"Did she look like she could be hunting? Hell, did she even look like she could do research?" Sam scoffed as Dean looked at him both puzzled and in thought. "That's what I'm talking about. You both have things to share and you're doing it today." Sam snatched the car keys from Dean and jerked his head towards your door, but Dean didn't budge. Sam sighed and walked over to your house.

He had to take the matter into his own hands.