Jenna Ledger met the Winchesters and she loved them. She lived with them and hunted with them. But things got ugly pretty soon. Mistakes were made and she walked away from the Winchesters. She hid from them; until Sam and Bobby show up at her door o...
SPOILER ALERT!!! DON'T READ THIS NOTE IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED SUPERNATURAL 15x18-DESPAIR.
Cas died and I'm way too numb to act excited and add exclamatory marks.
I saw it on November 5th itself and haven't been able to continue this work or read other fics.
Destiel is goddamn fucking canon and I am losing my mind here. I've been shipping those idjits so damn hard for so long. I just love Destiel and I am inexplicably happy that Cas confessed his love for Dean but god knows what Dean has to say about it. Guess I'll see that this Thursday. And Cas fucking died on a THURSDAY!!!! ****Twist and shouuuuttt**** I think all Destiel shippers have a taste of how Cas was before the empty took him - Truly happy and dead (us emotionally though). Cas saying "The one thing I want is something I know I cannot have", is exactly what we shippers used to say about Destiel. We fucking have it now. We did it bitches.... DESTIEL IS FUCKING CANON
Now I'm itching to know what Dean has to say. He better admit that he loves him too. And I hope Cas gets to hear it. Just once. Doesn't matter how.
Now to those idiots who keep on yelling that, Castiel's "I love you" was platonic - Misha Collins confirmed that Castiel's love was romantic and that Destiel is canon, so just zip it, alright? (sorry for being so aggressive **fandom feels** my emotional wounds caused by the events of this episode is still fresh)
To those stone-hearted people who say Jensen's acting sucked and those who say Dean doesn't reciprocate Castiel's feelings - It is not every day that someone tells Dean that he is loved... When Cas said he loves him, he was probably hearing that for the first in over a decade, the last person to say that being Lisa.
I am not counting Charlie or Mary because that was not romantic. Even if you want me to consider them, I'd say that neither Lisa, Charlie, or Mary's words would have mattered to Dean as much as Castiel's does, because they don't know Dean well enough. They have only seen the snarky, charming, handsome, lovable son of a bitch. They haven't seen the scared, broken, lost, emotionally scarred, fragile man he is deep down. They haven't seen him lose it. They haven't seen how dangerous and terrifying he can be. They haven't seen how angry he can get and how insensitive he can be. The one who has seen all of this is Castiel.
He has seen Dean laugh, cry, scream, kill, scare, fight love, and die. He has seen Dean at his best and at his worst. Dean had almost fought him to death once, left him in a ring of holy fire, sent him away when he was human, hunted, and most vulnerable, ignored him, and even hurt him deep enough to make Cas think that after 12 years of being together, Dean doesn't need him anymore and that maybe he was being used. Even after treating Cas this way, when Cas told him that he loves Dean, Dean is shocked out of his wits and his system just shut down. Imagine being broken enough to think that you're too damaged to even deserve love and then that one person who knows you more than anyone else in heaven, hell, earth or purgatory confesses that he or she loves you - wouldn't you just freeze after you hear that? Just stand there not even knowing what to think? That is exactly what happened with Dean. If these words weren't proof enough that Dean loves Cas too then that would mean the word "love" has lost all meaning.
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And for fuck's sake, Jensen is not homophobic.
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Now something I've got to say about myself -
I am not dealing with this well and I know that. But I also know that I didn't type all of this in the heat of the moment. I meant every word of it and I am sorry If anyone felt offended by this, but darling, that doesn't change the facts. I know that writers are generally sweet towards the readers, but let's just all be honest here. Sometimes we just have to let people know what we think. And trust me I am very thankful to those who decide to read my work and I do love all my fellow fandom members and Destiel crewmates. I'm just taking a tough stand here and putting my foot down because Twitter is going crazy with one half celebrating Destiel (which is a good thing) and the other denying that Destiel is canon and accusing Jensen and the supernatural writers of being homophobic. The wrong in that is that what Dean has to say can only be seen in the next episode.
Like I said, I am not dealing well. So it may affect my work, I'm not sure yet. I was never the shipping type, still am not, and will never be. But Destiel is my OTP and I will always hold onto to shipping them. And now that its canon and that I value Destiel more that my schoolgirl crush on Dean, I'm finding it hard to think about Jenna and Dean even though I've got big plans for them. So I'm gonna keep writing but something inside me is gonna hurt every time Cas has to be around Jenna and Dean together.
Another thing. I know that I don't write a lot of notes like these and that's because I'm the shy type and I don't know what to say, except when it comes to defending something I love. So don't think I'm much different from others, I'm just new to all of this and shy.
