I've Had This Dream...

Worry

Josh's POV:

Jess wasn't answering her phone and it had been a while. 

Too long.

It had been a week since I.. tried.. to give her a reality check. Was I too nice about it? 

Jess is.. very stubborn... as I'm sure all of you know.

I called her many times. God, I was so worried. 

But could you blame me? She wasn't answering... I thought she was dead or mad. I didn't know what to think..

Until I read that stupid letter.

It's for the best.. is all that rung in my head over and over as I sat on her couch.

Was it really, Jess? Was it for the best? 

News flash, no. It was not.

It was a rash, and STUPID decision. And it hurt... so much.. reading that letter.

I wanted to be there... every step of the way. I honestly just felt... betrayed. Was she really choosing that.. girl.. over me? She barely even knew her.  After all, that girl was honestly the source of her nightmares. If anything, she was nothing but sketchy to me. Who knows what will happen without me there.. 

I wanted to protect Jess.. her beautiful innocent soul was so fragile. I've always been there for her.. why wasn't she letting me be there now?

Maybe she just wanted to do this on her own, and I couldn't blame her. I guess I was holding her back. I just wanted her to be safe.

Sometimes you have to let people do stupid things on their own. If they can't learn from you, they must learn from themselves. You can't force people to make smart decisions.. no matter how much you would like to.

I spent.. I don't know how long.. in that damn apartment before I couldn't take it anymore. I was too worried to just lie in wait. 

I read that letter over and over again, hearing her soft voice every time I read it. I could practically see her sorrowful dark green eyes looking up at me in despair as she quietly explained why she was doing this.

It hurt.. so bad.

So I decided that I was going to go to California as well. I felt this strange.. need... to be there for her. And I didn't want to just... stay here.. while my best friend was somewhere far and foreign with a new person and unknown surroundings. What if she got hurt? Or worse... 

But I quickly shook those negative thoughts away. No, I wasn't letting that happen. Nothing is going to happen to her.

I was sure of it.