Rewind My World || Lee Know AU

Chapter Thirty Two

"Look." You point at the sun as you watch it set on the horizon.

It was just a normal walking spot but you could see most of Seoul from here and it really was beautiful. You lean on the railing while watching as all the lights begin to flicker on around the city.

"It's pretty, isn't it?" He says and leans beside you while take a deep breath with his eyes closed.

"It really is." You mutter before looking around to see a bench not to far away. "How did you find this place?" You ask while making your way over to sit down as your foot starts to hurt again.

"A few years ago after a fight with Sihyun's brother and Minho I was driving around and found this place. Now it's my thinking spot." He explains before following you over and sitting down beside you slowly.

"You come here a lot?" You ask. Your eyes land on a candy wrapper that had flown into the grass but it looked familiar.

"Pretty often actually. I was here all day." He lets out a chuckle and your eyes snap to him.

"You said you were-"

"I know. I was supposed to. I skipped." He shrugs before playing with his keys in his hand.

He was stalling. You clear your throat before moving you eyes back to the city.

"Why did you come up here?" You ask and he takes a deep breath before looking down at his keys before closing them in his hand.

"I needed to think about something." You nod and glance at him.

You wanted to wait for him to finish what he was saying but you knew he wasn't going to.

"Jisung, say whatever it is. You're scaring me." Your words come out slowly and you catch a tear roll down his cheek which makes you look away from him again.

"Why don't you call Minho then? You run to him when you're scared anyways." You stare into space as you let his words sink in. You didn't think he'd ever be this upset.

"You heard us last night?" You ask while fighting your own tears back. He looks up from the keys in his hand and watches the sun.

"Yeah..." You sigh before moving your eyes towards him.

"Then you know it's because I don't want to worry you. I don't want to stress you out and-"

"Then what am I here for, Y/n!?" You jump as he raises his voice and turns towards you. You watch as a few tears fall down his cheeks and you have to look away.

You weren't going to cry. Not in front of him.

"I'm not just here for you to look at. I'm not here as a time killer. I'm here for you. To listen to you. To hold you when you breakdown." You bite your lip as it starts to quiver and he scoffs before looking away. "Y/n, you won't even cry in front of me.." You blink away the tears before looking at him again.

"Jisung, I know you're there for me. I know you'd go so far out of your way for me but I won't ask you to do that. You're always there to protect me-"

"No. Minho is there to protect you." He shakes his head and your run your hand up your arm as a breeze floats by.

"Stop acting like you don't protect me too. Do you realize-"

"Y/n, I can't protect you the way he can!" With those words tears finally start spilling down your cheeks and he doesn't dare look at you.

"You do it too. I don't need you to even protect me though, Jisung. I'm with you because you're you. Not because-"

"But Minho's the only reason you're still here.." You think back to all the times Minho saved you and knew he was right but that shouldn't change anything.

"That doesn't matter-"

"It does to me." His eyes snap to you and you watch as a single tear falls to his jacket. He was losing hope.

"Why..?" Your voice cracks and he sniffles before chuckling and looking down.

"Do you think it's easy for me to watch you cry in my best friends arms when you're scared? Do you think it's easy for me to watch you joke and argue with him so easily? It's not easy to watch you always turn your attention towards him when it's me and him. You're never open with anything with me."

Your eyes fills with tears that drop down your face quickly. A few drip off your chin and onto your jeans but you couldn't stop them no matter how hard you tried.

"I've tried ignoring. I've tried letting it go. But I can't. I can't sit back and watch you go to him but you won't do the same with me. I'm not even jealous anymore I'm just.." He trails off and you take a deep breaths to stop yourself from completely breaking down.

Why didn't you ever see this? You didn't think you ran to Minho that often. He was your best friend. You felt safe with him but you never knew this is how Jisung felt.

"I just want to see you happy." He chuckles a bit and you move your eyes to him before wiping your cheeks off.

"Jisung, you make me happy-"

"I don't make you the happiest." He stops you before reaching forward and letting his thumb run down your cheek.

You close your eyes and he holds your cheek gently. You wanted time to stop moving. You weren't ready for his hand to leave but after a few seconds you feel it disappear. Your eyes open to find him staring at you.

"Don't make me say the words Y/n.." He whispers and you knew exactly what he was talking about.

"So don't say them. We can just keep-"

"We aren't made for each other. We're not meant to be. I can't be there for you when you need me. I can't- I won't keep this up." You turn your eyes back to the skyline but the sun was completely gone. It was just the city now.

"You're giving up? That easily?" You ask and he sighs before shaking his head.

"This isn't easy." You hear his voice fall and you close your eyes, hoping to stop the tears.

"I'm not ready to give up-"

"Please don't make this harder." He whispers and you glance at him before standing up slowly.

He watches you as you step onto the sidewalk. So much was running through your mind. Too much to stay.

"Y/n-"

"Two days. Just give it two days to think over this." You turn around to look at him and he stands up with a sigh while standing in front of you. You watch as he pushes his keys into his pockets before cupping your jaw in his hands. "Please don't leave me." You say quietly and he lets out a shaky breath before pecking your lips.

"I'll still be here for you. I always will be. It just won't be the same. I'm not leaving." You stare at him not caring to stop the tears.

"I love you." He watches as a tear drips down your cheek and he feels his heart shatter in his chest at those three words.

It was killing him to see you like this but he knew he wasn't what you needed.

"I love you too. I always will." He kisses your forehead softly and you pull away from him, shaking your head.

You watch him before turning around. You felt like you were going to stop breathing. The air felt so heavy.

You walk down the sidewalk, ignoring his calls for you but for the first time he doesn't try to chase you.