Moving To Silence

Two. The Before Party

Spring- Northern Arizona Community College- Freshman Year

Maia Clover

Trigger Warning

Me. An insignificant freshman has single handily ruined and divided an entire friendship group. I had thought it wasn't possible, but I found myself constantly shocking my preconceived notions out of the water.

The well-adjusted, entirely reasonable reaction I had to an unwanted kiss seems like the end of the world, the reaction over the past seven days has made my brain implode. Who cares if I agree with their reasoning, my opinion doesn't matter when it goes against an entire group of people's feelings.

Unbeknownst to me, Trev had mentioned to more than a few people that he had intended to kiss me and as I rejected his advances. I have been exiled from the group at his hand, a large part of me found the childish reaction amusing.

I am at perfect liberty to rejected whoever I like, and really it wasn't really a move. We barely spoke before that day and they all knew who I was, they couldn't have been that surprised.

Out of everyone Amalie has been the only one bothered by Travis' reaction, she was the one to find out about the story he had begun circulating.

'Boys will be boys' is the worst statement of encouragement or explanation that I could think of. Sad truth is, boys will protect their friends above all else and seeing as I am absent of a cock, the villain is the only role left. Despite knowing I never did anything wrong; guilt still eats at me because they adopted me for a quest I continue to back out of.

A week of anxiety and guilt is the only reason for my place outside Amalie's dorm door the following Friday night. For the first time in my life I am filled with the desire to get smashed and forget about all my problems, just like everyone else gets to do.

"Please tell me you are not here for a movie night; it's Friday and I won't give in!" Amalie snarks playfully as she opens the door, a robe wrapped around her body and one fake eyelash on.

"No, that's not why I am here. I was hoping you'd make me over and take me with you?" I reply cautiously. She almost chokes on air as the words leave my mouth, then the biggest smile overtakes my features and she yanks me into the room.

"Are you lying to me?" She criticises, pouring me a cup of the awful concoction of drinks she insists on making.

"Nope, I want to"

"Finally!" She beams, pushing me down to apply more makeup than I have ever worn, and making it nicer than I would ever be able too. My intention of feeling like anyone but myself tonight, with curls in my hair and an outfit I haven't seen yet Amalie doesn't stop smiling.

"Can I look yet?"

"No complaining, I won't hear of it and you aren't changing anything. I have created a masterpiece!" She giggles. The pre-drinks she has been giving us has succeeded in getting us both a little more than tipsy.

I can't believe what I see when I finally peel my eyes open, brown hair curled and pulled back from my face. The makeup though more than I would have worn, navy dress that hits my mid-thigh and hugs against my body and without the black tights underneath I would have fought her on it.

"You are the most amazing best friend that I could have ever been given" I mumble, breaking the silence and smiling over at her.

"The pleasure of knowing you is all mine" She grins, "And I am quite all right with that"

The whole ride over there it looks as though Amalie may burst with excitement while I pee my pants with nerves, I think if I wasn't so intoxicated, I would have thrown myself out of the car. The frat is busier than usual, and the niggling worry of did I make the right decision.

"I need to go and find Mark to join us, can we meet in the kitchen in like twenty?" Amelie asks, dark eyes full of guilt.

"Won't find me anywhere else. Go have fun" I wink as she hurries away from me and into the throws of people and I remind myself that at least she is coming back. I was the one who intruded on her night so I cannot expect her to drop all her plans for me.

The only way to get through this night successfully is to stick to my original plan, which is to get smashed and forget about all the Travis centred stress.

There's a few people in the kitchen but that doesn't stop me from drinking more than I have ever before. No one around has spoken to me, and I feel alone surrounded by people all over again.

It's only been twenty minutes; Amalie should be arriving soon, and the drinks are starting to lose flavour. I had definitely drunk enough for at least two hours, I can see Trev and my old friends, girls dancing with them.

I have seen them all look over at me more than once, the fact that am dressed different, standing alone drinking at a party is no doubt peaking their attention.

The world is spinning, and my mind is fuzzier than it has ever been, more than it was when Trev kissed me. I feel downright lost right now, the sticky presence of the sweat that is now lining my skin even though I feel cold.

I need to find a bathroom, and I decide I can't wait for Amalie to get here, turning to leave the kitchen I hope I find her on my way.

"M? You okay?" I hear Trev's voice before I register, he has taken hold of my arm as I stumble, it sounded muddled and far away. His warm hand felt like it was burning my frozen skin.

"Think I- I drunk" I slurred, no matter how hard I tried the full sentence would not pass my lips. My body unable to push forward what my brain needs to say and the fact I have never felt this before rushes to the forefront of my muddled mind.

"You look wasted and you're burning up. We should get something cold on your head" He murmured distantly, but I remained grateful that even after the kiss he had my back.

"You 'voided me" I mumble, my body weight in his arms as he guides me upstairs.

"Don't worry your little head about that M, you know we are all your friends, we look out for you" His words floated through my ears, but no peace calmed my racing heart.

Without his arms keeping me up I flop against the bed as Trev leaves, promises of a cold compress leaving his lips. Alcohol and anxiety formed a deep pit of dread in my stomach, spreading up into my chest and down to my shaking fingertips.

"Hopefully this will help" Trev said softly, pulling my hands forward to hold them. I couldn't tell if it was the blood rushing by my ears, but I could hear shuffling further in the room, the company amplified my confusion.

It finally caught up to me that my hands were bound together, it makes the room spin when I shoot up, awareness desperately trying to claw through the fog on my brain.

"Wha-wha"

"Don't worry Maia, everything is fine" Trev cooed into my ear, but his words only create more panic, as he pushed me back down and into the chest and arms of someone I didn't know.

I can't peal my eyes open, every portion of my body felt like concrete. You read about these things all the time, the pity of the people who suffer and the outcomes they go through, what good could have come from the abduction of my body.

"Don't- please Trev!" I sob, "You're supposed to be my friend!" I whimper, when his hands slide my shoulder to the hem of my dress.

It felt like a million eyes on me, I couldn't tell if I was right then. The guy behind me hooked his arms under my armpits to keep me trapped as I jerk around in Trev's grasp, trying to kick him off me but my body wouldn't work like it should have.

Screams, pleas left my lips. It was never any use. They just used me over, and over, and over again.