Moving To Silence

Four. After The Enrolment

Fall- University of Arizona - Junior Year

Nellie Wheeler

Just over a year of online classes, sat in the cramped space of my apartment and I am finally braving face-to-face learning once more. Tucked safely away from my hometown, in the only place I could go, I pray this campus is what I need.

It is supposed to be full of sun, and somewhere for new memories that will help me realise that reality isn't the same as what is in my head.

The campus is massive, bigger than it looked in the pictures I saw when I enrolled a month into Sophomore year. Covered with looming white buildings and trees lining the many pathways that I see people sitting under, despite the unusually cold day.

"You look lost" A new voice chimes from behind me, it makes me jump slightly when he taps my shoulder. I spin around with my breath clogged in my throat, the smiling face of a tall man staring back at me.

There are tightly wound brown curls hanging down over his face, a couple sitting against the rim of his black glasses. He's stunning. I am not sure whether men are okay with being described that way, but I can't find another word that encapsulates him so well.

When I don't reply after a few moments, our brown eyes stuck looking at each other awkwardly. He tilts his head at me, "Are you?"

Feeling stuck and unsure of how to proceed, I nod at him quickly and am rewarded with a bright smile. All teeth. I trail after him when he moves towards a bench up ahead on the right, he seems unbothered by my lack of words.

Dumping his books on the bench without so much a second thought makes me grimace, a blue and red letterman jacket stretches over his back as he straightens up. "Do you have a schedule I could have a look at?"

Duh, I am an idiot. Stood staring at him like he has grown to heads as his question rolls slowly through my mind, what is it that people say, stranger danger?

I discard that sentiment. It never helped me before.

Chewing my lips nervously, I unfold the single piece of paper and hold it out for him, not daring to look into his eyes as he takes it from my shaking fingertips. I am wearing the thickest jacket I own, but I still hope he just assumes I am cold.

"A music major, aye?" He chuckles, eyes flickering over the timetable. "With a minor in psychology, not something you see everyday"

A relieved smile slithers across my lips, his demeanour making some of my anxiety slip away. My major and minor didn't worry me as much as the girl attached to them, the one who doesn't talk, even to herself much to her therapists quiet frustration.

I can feel his eyes survey me, maybe waiting for a reply or trying to figure me out on his own. He braves the awful question faster than I would have guessed, "Do you talk?"

My hand dives into the bag at my side, yanking out my notepad and pulling the marker from its coils. Ripping it off with my teeth and scribble over the top of the page, "No, sorry!"

"You could scribble out the sorry for me" He beams, turning to collect his possessions back into his arms, taking care to keep the loose paper from falling out. "Your first class is in twenty-five minutes, and I have a free block then, would you be okay with me taking you there?"

I nod again, my anxiety still pelts through my body, but I find myself unphased by his presence. His kindness helps at my fear of trotting around campus on my own, studying the map of this place doesn't do much when you actually get here.

"You know, I have never been so nervous approaching someone before which says a lot cause I am an out-there kind of guy if you feel. You might have looked lost, but you had this determined look in your eyes that I didn't want to disturb, thought you might break my nose if I offered my assistance"