Chapter 8 - Full of Thoughts

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~Tate's Point Of View~

Bo had left for his dinner with Kendyl and her family. I couldn't help but wish he was still here to help me deal with this. Bailee was happy I was home but kept looking at me like I was an asshole. Mama didn't want me leaving her sight. Pa hasn't said a word to me and Bryson is acting like he doesn't give a shit.

I do really feel bad for leaving mama but I had to deal with my own shit. I couldn't handle this at the time. I wanted to get away from everything and forget about it for a while. I went to the bar and drank myself for the first few nights but then I met this chick and her best friend.

The chicks name was Erin and she was gorgeous if you ask me. I was drunk and she had a house with her friend and decided to invite me over. Little did I know her family also lived with them? Her mother was very sweet and knew I was drunk. Her father was actually drunk as well and invited me to watch baseball.

I stayed there until we went off to the trails. Erin let me even sleep with her but she played hard to get. She would let me kiss her. I even got to be on top of her once but she would push me away and tell me, "Alright country boy, don't get too worked up there now." As she patted my chest and giggled. Gosh everything about her made me attracted to her.

I kept thinking about being over there when I got slapped in the back of the head.

"The fuc…." I started to say.

"Watch your mouth Tatum Christopher." Mama said. I looked and she was the one who slapped me.

"Sorry mama. I was dazed." I told her.

"Thinking about Amber?" She asked as she sat next to me. I shook my head no.

"Hell no. That bitch cheated. I know its karma and it's a bitch but no. I was thinking about Erin ma." I said.

"Who is that? Is that Cliffs daughter?" Mama asked. Oh great. She even knew this father.

"Yes." I said. She smiled and leaned over.

"At least this one won't be a whore. Her daddy may be a drunk, but her mama is an angel. Erin is a beautiful girl. You treat her right if you're perusing this." She warned.

"Yes mama. Now what time are you going to Chemo tomorrow? I'm coming too." She looked at me.

"No you go to college." She told me. I rubbed the back of my neck. "Tater." She said angrily knowing what that meant.

"I only have one class left because the other professors dropped me since I haven't been in class." I said fast so she would hardly understand but knowing mama she knew even before I said it.

"Why Tate? You run away, lose your schooling, make us scared shitless, you had Bo looking everywhere for you, your father was even out there when he should be getting ready for his ACM's, and where is your truck?" Mama asked.

"Erin's. I'm not drunk. I can drive it home. I just need a lift there or Erin can get me if she wants." I said.

"Tate, I said other things than your truck son." She crossed her arms.

"I know I was selfish for doing all those things. Fuck school literally. It's not helping me anywhere. I'm sorry I ran away but I was so scared and afraid that I am gonna lose your mama. I can't lose you. The thoughts I had once y'all told me I was devastated and the thoughts were not pleasant because bad news means bad thoughts for me. You know this. I got to think about it and talk with Bo and now, I'm going to be here 100%. I won't leave you mama. I wanna be the strong one for you since you've always been that way for us." I smiled. She teared up and hugged me.

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