Another love

Part Sixteen - 1914

1914

It had taken hours for Tommy to calm Sarah down, he ran his fingers through her hair and watched her tear-stained face as she still let out the odd hiccup

"When do you go?" She croaked out

"Saturday." He whispered to her softly,

"Three days, so we can't-"

"Sarah, can we not talk about it."

"Tom-"

"No, I just want to be in this moment with you, OK?"

"OK." She sniffled whilst running her hand over the scar on his shoulder. Neither of them slept that night, they both stared at the ceiling all night, cursing the world for mankind's mutual destruction. Once the early morning came Tommy finally broke their silence

"We can take the January up the canal, and come back on Friday."

"What?" Sarah frowned in confusion

"We'll take the January and just spend our time there."

"What as a goodbye?"

"It's not a goodbye."

"Feels like it," Sarah said quietly, ignoring Tommy's harsh glare.

He sat up with a sigh and took her hand in his to pull her up, "Get your stuff together, we're going out."

Sarah sighed but did as he asked, not noticing when Tommy kept checking his jacket pocket.

Sarah steered the boat whilst Tommy sat inside the hut.

"When you said you wanted to take the boat I assumed that you'd be steering."

"I don't know how." He replied

"I got that!" She scoffed, not seeing the point in their little trip. She pulled the boat to a stop and went inside the boat hut, startling Tommy as he jumped onto his feet. "Tom, you wanted to have a trip away and your sat inside the whole time, leaving me to steer alone. What was the point? Are you trying to get me used to the fact that I'll be alone? Is that it, eh?"

Tommy pulled her back by her wrist, "Sarah?"

"What!" She snapped as she turned around, her jaw dropping and her eyes widening at the sight of Tommy on one knee

"Sarah Crawford, will you-"

"Stop! Your only doing this because you think you'll die."

"No, I'm not, I've had the ring for over a year."

"Then why are you doing it now?"

"Will you bloody let me propose to you?!"

"Tommy-"

"Sarah! This is my promise to you, that I will come back to you, and we will have a family and a house and I will buy you the bloody garrison if you want it. I've wanted to marry you since I was fifteen, and I've loved you for as long as I can remember, so will you please bloody marry me?" He said with a smile.

"Yes. Yes, I'll marry you!" She laughed as she let him slide the ring onto her finger before pressing a deep kiss to her lips.

"I love you, Sarah."

"I love you too, but if it's OK with you, can we not tell anyone yet? Not until your back to me."

"If that's what you want."

"Yes it is, I think it will mean more then, it will mean just how strong we still are."

"Of course, my love." He said, kissing her again.

They managed to enjoy their last couple of days together until Friday night came and Sarah started screaming in her sleep. The sight of blood and bodies surrounding her, buried in mud and guts. It was only a nightmare, but there was a truth behind it. Sarah bolted into a sitting position panting, she looked around the room and saw Tommy's uniform draped over the chair in their bedroom, she could tell that he was awake and after taking a deep breath she lay back down and held him tightly, taking in his warmth and the feeling of his body against her own. When dawn had eventually come she'd made both Cain and Tommy breakfast but neither of them ate much nor did Sarah, in fact they spent the morning in a deep silence until eventually going across the road to get Arthur and John to go to the station.

"Look after my kids," John whispered into her ear as they hugged.

"I will." She said trying not to cry and kissing his cheek, before releasing him and pulling Arthur into a hug,

"Be careful trouble." He grumbled making Sarah laugh

"Me be careful? You're going into the battlefield, Arthur."

"Yeah well, suppose it's habit innit."

Sarah let out a noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob, Sarah then turned to Cain, who as normal, was calm "How am I supposed to say goodbye to my only brother?"

"It's not goodbye." He told her as he hugged her tightly and kissed the side of her head, "I'm going to come home to you, and I'm going to bring him home to you."

Sarah tried to fight the tears as they rolled down her face, "I love you, big brother."

"I love you too, little sister."

She wiped the tears away from her eyes and looked at Tommy, who was as stoic as always.

"Harry's sister has arranged drinks at the Garrison, the train leaves in over an hour, so we best get a move on," Polly told them quietly. Sarah grabbed Tommy's hand and spoke without looking at anyone, "We will meet you at the train station." She told them as she and Tommy left and drove down to the canal.

The car ride was turning Sarah's stomach as she had been fighting nausea all week and assumed that it was the thought of the boys leaving. "You're not coming to the station, are you?" Tommy asked as they stepped out of the car.

"I can't say goodbye to you, Tommy. The thought of saying goodbye to you, in front of all those people, makes me feel like dying. Everyone thinks that I'm this strong woman who looks after everyone, my family and your family. They think that I'm hard and tough."

"You are," Tommy said as he put his hands around her waist and pulled her close to him, taking in her beauty and memorizing her face, running his hand over her arm where he knew the bullet scar was.

"I won't be if I have to say goodbye to you. I'll fall apart, and I can't afford to do that right now. Our family is about to become very vulnerable, and they need someone who can help hold it together, and it can't just be Pol, she's already lost her children once. You boys leaving just opens up the wound, she hasn't said it, but I know that's how she feels."

Tommy pressed a kiss to her forehead as tears spilt from his eyes.

"OK, I don't know what I'm going to do without you by my side," Tommy said quietly.

"You'll be fine, Thomas. I'll be right here, waiting for you, every day."

"I know." He breathed before kissing her, their kiss lasted for ages, both of them only pulling away to catch their breath. They only stopped when they heard a train pulling up from the distance.

"I'll see you soon, Mrs Shelby."

She let out a sad laugh before kissing him again, "I'll love you forever."

"And forever is what we shall have."

She adjusted his uniform before waving him off. As soon as he was gone she broke down and dropped to the ground, feeling her whole world crumbling around her; but she had to be strong for everyone left behind and that's what she did.