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AYOLUWA LAID DOWN on the exam table in her obstetrician's office, staring at the tiled ceiling.
"India Imani Palmer. India Camille Palmer. India Marie Palmer. India Jewel Palmer. Ind-." Ayoluwa started in a dreamy tone.
"What are you doing?" Joshua looked down at her from where he was standing by the exam table, a little amused.
She turned her head sideways to look at him, "I'm trying to see which middle name is gonna work best for when I win the bet."
Ayoluwa smirked at Joshua's eye roll.
"What you should be doing," Joshua rested one hand near her t-shirt covered belly and she tried not to blush at how the skin of his wrist brushed against the covered tattoo on her ribcage, "Is trying to figure out is you're getting something new or the usual at the steakhouse."
Even with how he had treated her in the past, Ayoluwa found it hard to stop loving him.
She wasn't sure if she was a masochist or just plain stupid.
Ayoluwa glanced at the bouquet of flowers resting on the chairs to the side of the room then stared at him, "What are you doing?"
"Just standing here. What do you mean?" He replied.
"No. Why? The flowers every time you see me, randomly showing up on my birthday, agreeing with everything I say. Like... Why do you want a date in the first place? It's not like you like me or anything." Ayoluwa mumbled.
Joshua blinked, clearly surprised at her words, "That's not true in the slightest. I love you."
Ayoluwa paused then snickered a bit, "No, you don't Josh. Shut up. Don't say things that you don't mean."
"I do," Joshua replied instantaneously, "I do mean it. I mean every word."
"You weren't acting like you love me. Love is shown, you can't just say it once after months and think that shit is gonna be sweet." Ayoluwa replied, turning her face back up to the ceiling.
"Can you look at me?" Joshua asked in a soft tone.
Ayoluwa licked her bottom lip but kept her gaze on the ceiling, sure that she would crumble if she looked at him.
"I'm sorry. I-." Joshua started to say.
"I spent..." Ayoluwa interrupted with a whisper, "So many nights wondering, crying and overthinking, trying to rationalize and trying to come up with a reason why we had three amazing years together and why me going on tour made you decide that you didn't want to go to four. Like what on earth did I do to make my boyfriend not love me anymore?"
When Ayoluwa glanced at Joshua, his face ashen and his lips pressed together in silence with the truth she was spewing.
"I suppose it doesn't matter now," Ayoluwa sighed, "Either way, a sorry and flowers isn't going to cut it with me. We can be friends for the sake of our kid and that's it. I can't take you hurting me anymore, Josh. I just can't."
"But that's the thing, I-." Joshua started to say.
In that moment, Dr. Mason chose to come in with her usual grin, "Hi! Ready to find out the gender?"
Dr. Mason glanced between the tense expressions on Ayoluwa and Joshua both, "Oh, am I interrupting something? You want five minutes?"
"No, we're fine. Let's find out the gender." Ayoluwa shifted a few inches away from Joshua, "I need to start planning the nursery and everything."
"Are both of you ready?" The doctor asked, prompting Joshua to say "Yeah. Let's hear it."
"You are having a..." Dr. Mason started to say but Joshua put one hand up, halting her, "Wait."
Then he grabbed both of Ayoluwa's hands.
"It's for luck," Joshua explained at the queer look that Ayoluwa was giving him.
"Okay, weirdo..." Ayoluwa trailed off then turned back to the doctor, "What are we having?"
Dr. Mason took a long pause for dramatic effect, "A boy!"
"Yes! Yes!" Joshua's tone was exuberant and Ayoluwa had to clamp her hands over her ears while Joshua jumped up and down a little.
While she didn't show it externally like Joshua did, Ayoluwa was thrilled at the fact that she would be having a son.
She could already imagine herself cradling a baby that resembled Joshua a little, cheering her son on in his future endeavors whether they were musical or athletic.
"Now," Dr. Mason took a hospital gown from underneath her left armpit and left it on the counter closest to the door, "I need you to put this on so I can run some tests. I'll be back in about three minutes."
Dr. Mason closed the door behind her and Ayoluwa sighed before slowly rising to a sitting up position.
Joshua coughed, "Look, I know I fucked up with you."
"Josh..." Ayoluwa said in an exhausted tone.
"No, please let me finish. I fucked up and I know that. I just... You were gone all the time and I..." Joshua closed his eyes, "I forgot to appreciate what I had but I wanna make it right. I want to make us right. We were always better together, you know that."
Ayoluwa shook her head, "You say that and then you complain about my career in another three years. Can you wait in the hall while I get undressed?"
Joshua blinked and then opened his mouth, clearly ready to argue then closed it promptly, "Okay. Whatever you want, Palmer."
Then just like that, Joshua had left the room, leaving Ayoluwa alone and a heavy weight pressing her to the exam table.
