Suicidal Ideation『Depressed Todoroki』

#9 | Now I Wonder, Why You Bothered

Aizawa went to the hospital early to have a chat with the nurse.

"Hi, you must be...Aizawa Shouta, correct? And you're here for Todoroki Shouto."

"Yes, that's correct," Aizawa confirmed.

"Alright, well I'm pretty sure you probably know that dealing with suicide patients can be very taxing. On top of that, he's an abuse victim which is also extremely taxing." The nurse said, a worried look making its way onto her face.

"Yes, I'm aware."

"Todoroki-san may suffer from depression, PTSD, extreme chronic stress, insomnia, eating disorders, and anxiety. He'll most likely have problems with emotional regulation, self-concept, social skills, and academic motivation. There'll probably be random outbursts and nightmares, as well as flashbacks. I'd also try to warn him before any physical contact. Sudden movement may be too much for him. I wish him the best recovery."

Aizawa already knew all this. But for some reason, hearing it just makes his heart sink down even further. He failed to protect his student. And it wasn't only him either. All the heroes failed him. Society trusted a hero like Endeavor, and Shouto had to pay the price.

"Thank you for your help." Aizawa's throat felt like it was closing in.

She nodded a bit, smiling. Although you could tell it was a little forced.

Aizawa sighed while walking away. He hopes he'll be able to help the kid.

『✰❦✰』

The week had gone by quickly. Before Shouto noticed, the doctors were doing their last check-up and leaving the room.

If he was being honest, he was scared about staying with Aizawa-Sensei.

What are the rules?

What are the punishments?

Aizawa said he was safe, but he'd be damned if he ever believed that. Anytime he has been told he was safe always ended in pain. There is no such thing as "safe" in Shouto's life.

He shook his head. All he had to do, was play it safe until he learned what to do and what not to do. That's pretty easy. Right?

There was a knock on the door. Shouto quickly speed-walked to the door, opening it softly. He poked his head out and saw Aizawa standing there, shock written on his face. Probably thinking Shouto would still be in bed, in his patient's uniform.

Shouto got dressed an hour before Aizawa came. He knew that his father wouldn't have appreciated him not being ready by the time he came, so Shouto made sure he doesn't burden Aizawa by having him waiting on Shouto.

"Okay, are you ready?"

Shouto nodded his head.

"Let's go then."

Shouto numbly followed Aizawa, making sure to stay close behind him. His posture stiff, his mind running.

He can't be a burden to him. He can't disobey rules and has to make sure Aizawa's not angry when speaking to him.

A part of his brain was yelling at him to drop his guard, that he was safe. The other part was telling him to always keep his guard up, that Aizawa could turn on him at any time. He wasn't sure which side was winning the war, but he had to believe the 'keeping his guard up' side made the most sense.

"You okay? You seem tense." Aizawa said, concern written on his face.

'You're already annoying him.'