Suicidal Ideation『Depressed Todoroki』

#17 | You're Here For A Reason, But You Don't Know Why

This is unedited. If you see any mistakes, please ignore them or kindly correct them in the comments. Thank you.

『✰❦✰』

Despite the unfamiliar road of happiness Shouto's life was driving through, the bumps still resided in the path. There were days where his smile was bright, and he felt like he was soaring through a sky of happiness. Then a storm rolled around, and Shouto's seemingly unmovable happiness dispersed, and he was left drowning in unbearable melancholy. On those days, he refused to leave his bed, grateful for Aizawa and Hizashi giving him space (not too much, and the reason why drowns Shouto in his shame).

Today was one of those days. Shouto hadn't thought of a name for them, nor had he wanted to because it would be proof that these days were not uncommon. His position was forever changing as he attempted to clear his dark thoughts. Yet, they never rendered him peace.

Has he even been improving? It felt as though he was running in a loop. Over and over and over. He was draining of motivation - if he even had any in the first place.

I should probably get up, he thought mindlessly, pushing his numb figure into a sitting position. Today he had to return to school for the first time since his relapse. He decided not to spend time caressing the episode. The process of getting ready for school passed in a flash - he started wondering if it even happened. He was standing in front of 1-A's door before he could comprehend how he had missed half his morning.

The looks being sent his way hardly affected him - he was used to it. People have their opinion, their judgment, no matter how much Shouto wished for it to just stop, it would never truly scatter. He entered the class, completely ignoring the pity and empathy - how could they ever understand?

The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth.

『✰❦✰』

"Todo-... Shouto, can I talk to you?" Midoriya asked when school concluded, stumbling over his name. Shouto had asked him to use his given name.

Shouto had the thought of turning him down, but the nervous look on his face and the way his hand fidgeted gave away Midoriya's nervousness, and Shouto didn't have the heart of crushing the other. He replied with a quiet 'okay', allowing Midoriya to take him someplace with scarcely a person. They decided to walk to a park near the school - after Shouto has informed Aizawa, of course.

"Shouto, are you alright? I don't mean to pry, but you didn't seem like yourself today. Kind of, distant?" Midoriya nervously spoke.

Shouto wasn't surprised Midoriya caught onto one of his 'bad days. The other had a knack at catching someone's aura - a skill Shouto was sure would make the older a great hero. Still, he had;t the answer to the question; He wasn't sure if he was alright.

But Midoriya didn't expect an answer, "If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here. Okay? Anytime, any place." Midoriya looked up at him with understanding - he had a piece of mind of what Shouto was going through.

Shouto glanced at him, feeling warmth bloom in his chest, "Okay."

Midoriya beamed, a smile breaking out. Then they were interrupted. The feeling of another presence surrounded Shouto's left leg, while the noise that was unmistakenly a 'meow' sounded. Shouto halted completely, looking down at what had crept upon him. Black fur and mismatched eyes of grey and blue looked back up at him. Shouto couldn't help staring back at the eyes - which were coincidentally the same color as his.

Midoriya stifled a laugh at the surprised look on the cat's face, which also mirrored Shouto's.

"You think they're related to you? Maybe you should put it down in your notebook of conspiracy theories." Midoriya teased, still not over Shouto calling him All Might's secret love child.

Shouto seemed to consider it, leaving Midoriya baffled at the other's lack of understanding. Could Shouto think a cat was related to him? It seemed as though he could.

"Maybe you should name them." Midoriya offered when the staring started going on for too long.

Shouto answered almost instantly as if he was already considering the name before Midoriya offered. "Soba."

Midoriya was not surprised. Not in the slightest, he had already thought Shouto would name the cat that. The other was extremely predictable. Midoriya laughed and agreed to the name.

That day, when Shouto returned to Aizawa's apartment after departing with Midoriya, cat in hand, Hizashi nor Aizawa commented on the new being that had placed itself in Shouto's arms, purring every time Shouto scratched their ears. They seemingly had no problem with Shouto keeping it, so he beamed, allowing a smile to reside on his face.

Nothing was said when Shouto woke up, taking note of a cat's litter box, food, and water bowls near it that were not there when he slept.

His bad days still came, but they weren't as severe, nor were they as common. The cat that slept next to Shouto, comforting him when he couldn't find motivation. They had undoubtedly taken up their place in the dysfunctional family.

Words: 878

The title is from the song "False Confidence", by Noah Kahan.

This chapter was TOTALLY not an excuse to add a cat to the story...definitely not.

LISTEN! I cannot apologize enough for the long wait. I truly am sorry for taking 3 weeks to come up with a chapter that isn't even over 1000 words. I did try to make a long chapter but my motivation was shot and my ideas were non-existent. I can't even describe my hatred for this chapter and myself. You guys deserve more than a short-ass chapter that is so extremely shitty.

I have 8 assignments due on Friday not to mention an entire test this Monday I haven't even begun studying for. The stress is really compromising my motivation and I can't seem to do anything all day except reading fanfictions in hopes of giving me enough motivation to finish assignments. I completely forgot about this fanfiction in the mess of my life.

Please bear with me. You guys are truly the only thing helping me continue this story. Thanks for letting me ramble.

Have an amazing Morning/Afternoon/Night!

I love you all, byee!

✰__startover✰