You Just Love To Hate Me || Ricky 'Horror' Olson (EDITING)

Chapter 5: I'm Not Gonna Make It

Song for this chapter: Slipknot- Duality

Vamp's POV

"I thought it was time to see my sister."

"You have a lot of nerve calling me your sister," I growled. It's not even anger fuelling me, it's utter betrayal. 

"I had to go!" Chris defended himself.

"You can't lie to me. I might not remember everything, but I know for a fact I remembered you. I know exactly what happened in that fucking accident and I know for a fact that I still remembered you and my health didn't benefit at all from losing my brother for so long!"

Chris looked at me almost apologetically yet his stern, cold tone never fazed, "What? You expected me to leave everything I had? You expected me to leave my friends, my band behind as they had to walk out of the life of one of the most important people in their lives because that person couldn't remember them? I understand you needed me, but so did they. You had Mum and Dad, the family, your band, they had each other and me and they were all as sad and weak as each other did you really expect them to make each other feel better?" He scoffed and his tone became calm and soft, "I understand why you're angry: I left when I didn't have to as it seems to you, but I did. I had too. Not for me, but for them and for the fans. The accident would've made the band break up and that can't happen. I'm sorry you feel the way we do and I hope we can make our relationship work, but I can't make it better and I can't take back leaving you because if I could go back in time and do it again I would because I wouldn't stop supporting my friends. Hell if I had it my way nothing would've happened and we could all live like the family we are. Were. I love you, you love me too, but you need to allow yourself to in order to fix what's broken before it's broken beyond repair." Chris bowed his head. I wasn't ready to forgive him yet, but knowing his side of the story made this all a bit easier to stomach.

"Chris," I said quietly and mentally slapped myself for being so quiet; showing his little speech had gotten to me. I cleared my throat and said it louder, "Chris um," Chris turned to look at me and once again his eyes were the only thing that showed emotion, this emotion being hope. "I can't promise anything, but I can see if I can find a strong enough glue for those pieces? But for the record, that reason doesn't excuse a complete absence. It would've explained why visits would've been rare but none at all is pathetic." He nodded looking ashamed, but he also had a small smile on his face.

My head was aching to remember as I scanned the others in the room. The lack of success it had made it hurt more. I held my head in my hands and winced, I felt like Harry Potter when he came into contact with dark magic. One of the men: a short man, with long black hair down to his shoulders and makeup all over his neck and arms, looked at me concerned, pained even like the pain I felt, he felt. Needless to say I had a migraine and I needed sleep.

Spider noticed the look of pain tattooed on my face and realized it was probably overwhelming for me as when I got these people back it was meant to be one by one. He came over to me carefully and looked at me for a second before sighing and taking my hand, leading me into the bunk room.

"Too much?" He asked.

"Why can't I remember?" I asked myself more than anyone else- I was so frustrated with myself. "My brain knows so why won't it just tell me?"

"Because brains like to torture people like that." Spider told me.  I sighed obviously depressed with this fact. "Tell you what," he started and I perked up; he's great at making situations like this better for me, "You get some rest, sleep this headache away and when we get to wherever we're going I'll get Jack to come get you so we can go to the club. Sound good?" I nodded and he hugged me tightly before lifting me into my bunk and kissing my forehead.