Is it really worth it?

"Don't bullshit me, Bishop!"

The next morning Maya found herself in the big dining room. She has seen it yesterday and hated it already. She knew now that the hatred could only grow. And she also knew at one point they were going to make her eat. Who knows how fast that point would avenge over her. The looks on everyone's faces were the same. Dread. Of course, everyone more or less wanted to be here or better said they just wanted to get better. "Hey," Maya's head quickly spun around to the voice. In front of her was a brunette maybe in her mid-thirties. Her eyes were a bright blue color and both her arms were covered with tattoos. She wasn't unattractive. "I'm August. Are you new?" Maya was stunned by her. Why would she talk to her? And especially right now. "Hi, I'm Captain Maya Bishop." She reached out her head and waited for August to shake it. August smiled and said, "Formal here are we but nice to know you're powerful." She smiled but Maya stopped reacting and looked around the room again.

* I have to get out. I can't be here they can't force me they have to let me go. I'm leaving. I'm going back to Carina!*

"Where are you going?" Maya swirled around in shock not expecting anyone to be close to her. While turning a blond strain of hair, which usually was stored behind one of her ears, flew into the middle of her face. Luckily her tears hadn't started to fall yet. It was August of course it was August. "Nothing, I just have to get something from upstairs." Her statement sounded legit. "Don't bullshit me, Bishop," August replied knowing exactly that Maya was lying. Why she knew was still a riddle to Maya. August stepped closer. "Again, where are you going?" Maya felt utterly uncomfortable with August this close. "I just didn't want to be in there. It's a lot." She huffed her answer almost not able to get the noise out of her mouth. Maya looked down at the floor, embarrassed. She jumped a little when she felt August's finger pulling her chin up forcing her to look into August's eyes. "You know that's okay right?" Her voice was more silent and she was almost whispering. Maya was shocked and couldn't move a single limb. What was August doing? And more importantly why? Maya pulled away after she finally rid herself of the utter shock.

"What the fuck?" Maya said and walked back into the hall. There was food yes but at least other people. So August couldn't come close again. What the hell was that? Maya's thoughts were running.

*Was she just being nice? Did she want something from me? Why? Wasn't she able to see the clear no on my face? I have to stay away from her.*

Later at the table with a huge bowl of food standing in front of her, all she could think of is that interaction. She wasn't even giving the food a thought which was good yes but also astonishing. Trembled she moved a spoon loaded with yogurt closer to her mouth. She ate it with no second thought until she realized. Surprisingly she felt okay. Something she hadn't felt after eating in forever. She knew the insane guilt would come she knew that but right now happiness overflew those thoughts of guilt and remorse.

*I'm okay. This was the start to being okay and I didn't even realize it. I hate that because what if it was all pretend all of a sudden I can eat again? That means it was never hard, was it. I just had to make a big deal out of it of course I did. Why? Why is this easier than I imagined?*

The happy feelings were gone after that and so was her appetite. She didn't have much time to ride herself deeper into the guilt. Her name was called and she was ordered to find her way to Miss wrights office. Why she had no clue. Cheerfully, she left the big dining hall and her food behind. The house was still big and looked like a labyrinth to Maya but somehow she managed to find her way. Her thoughts were still circling the August incident and the stupid breakfast yogurt. At least she was used to one of those thinkings. "Good Morning Bishop. Have a seat." Maya followed the instructions wondering why her breakfast had been interrupted. "Why am I here?" Maya asked. "Well, I thought you were here to recover, or am I wrong?" Was Maya missing something? Did she maybe get a plan she forgot about? Now she sat there making big eyes at her stern therapist not sure why she was here. At least now her thoughts were off this morning and more focused on solving the riddle as to why she was here.