Is it really worth it?

"It's your first day of work,"

"Good morning, Bambina," Carina said once Maya opened her crystal blue eyes. Maya was still incredibly sleepy and just grunted at Carina as a response. "Baby," Carina pushed Maya slightly to wake her up. "Come on," she continued her attempt on waking Maya. "It's your first day of work." She tried to sound motivating for Maya. Maya gave her fiancee a look and pulled a pillow over her head. "Five more minutes," Maya said. Carina agreed and jerked Maya up from under the pillow and into her arms.

As Maya slept peacefully Carina lay wide awake. She thought about what had just happened and how it had been the first time it happened. Usually, Maya was up first, had eaten breakfast, if she actually did, and woke Carina. Not the other way around. Carina smiled for herself at the thought of Maya finally being able to relax. Not pushing herself out of bed because of fear. Carina knew how Maya's dad used to chase her out of bed with horns and buckets of water, rest was not an option for the Bishop family. Maya would get up before school in the morning and trained with her father for about 2 hours. Then after school at 14:50, they would go out to the track and train till 16:00. They got home after that and Maya was sent to do her homework, up until dinner, where she only got to eat vegetables and healthy carbs. After dinner never really having her belly filled. She was sent to bed right after with an empty stomach and aching legs. That program would go on every single day. Friends and love were off-limits. Now, Carina watched her lay in bed begging for more rest before going off to work not forcing herself to run before the shift. Carina felt pride swell up in her. Maya tried.

"Don't forget your shake," Carina said waving a bottle of green liquid around in the air. She looked fairly disgusted but tried not to show that repulsion. Maya smiled, turned around, and grabbed the bottle she then placed a short peck on Carina's lips. She seemed ready for her first day back. Though she wasn't completely restrained from fear. It was still controlling most of her thoughts and still had more power than any other thoughts. But today Maya tried to fight she didn't just let her fear control her and move on. She fought.

The way to the station felt like torture she didn't know what the others would do once she got back. Had they changed in the time she was gone? Are they now repulsed by her, because they now knew she used to manipulate and lie to people just so she didn't have to eat? Would she still be able to assert dominance? Floods and floods of thoughts on such a short car ride. She didn't have a lot of time left to attend to the thoughts though. She pulled into the station parking her car on the side, so it wasn't yet visible, and prevented Vic and Andy to attack Maya before she could process being back. Life was slowly falling back into place. She was back in her old constellation. It felt great finally to be in control of your own mind but to a degree, it was the scariest thing Maya had done in a long time. Life was incredibly stressful but also full filing. She was back. Or she was here for the first time without all her fears.

Maya stepped out of the car taking one last deep puff and walked towards a so familiar firehouse. Though, before she was even halfway to the door she heard Andy scream out her name. Her voice didn't sound degrading it actually seemed happy to have Maya back. Andy came running towards her with open arms and a huge smile. "Maya!" She screamed again on her way, making sure everyone else now knew she was back. "My God, how much I missed you." She pulled Maya into a warm embrace. Until she pulled away and started babbling. She reminded Maya of a puppy whose owners finally came home after a long day of work. "The station was a mess without you and I finally figured out why Jack is such a bad captain. He will never keep up with you that's why we all perceive him as bad. Also, Travis got a dog and he grew so close to Emet that they basically live here. It's hella annoying. 23 are still dicks," She paused for a second gasping for some air in between her words. "Vic is still Vic and she acted in a play it was great, she discovered that burned-down theater kid she once was. Get it? because her theater burned down. Okay, maybe that wasn't appropriate but anyway it was great. Carina visited us sometimes. Damn, that woman really does love you. It's disgusting. And now I didn't even give you a chance to breathe-" Maya cut Andy off with another hug. She really missed her best friend.

Vic came trotting to Maya and Andy and made their hug into a group hug. "Oh, how I missed that familiar Maya smell." It was probably one of the weirdest greetings Maya had ever gotten but it felt so good. "Hey, guys" she finally said. They now walked together to the station. Andy and Vic still babbling Maya full of information she had missed. They didn't once mention the way Maya had treated them like shit before or how they never knew what was going on while Maya was in the clinic. They seemed genuinely happy to see Maya. And now Maya knew that coming home wasn't all too bad or scary. She just was home.

(Again sorry this took so long :// and as always tell me what you think:) also, would any of you be interested in reading another work of mine? It is not station 19 related but I kinda like it :))