Love You Regardless

3

TW's:
-Mentions fire/death
-Panic attack

Clay's POV

I was running to the farm after lunch and kneeled down in front of Wolly. I had brought a box of Wolly's food and I had a bottle of new and clean water for him.

Wolly walked to me as I sat down and I opened my arms to hug Wolly. 'Hello, Wolly. I'm back, did you miss me?'

I walked to the food place I had made for him and put his new food in the bowl I put down for Wolly. I grabbed his old bottle of water and put the new one down.

'Look Wolly! I have food for you.'

Wolly walked to me and started eating as I hugged him tightly against my body.

I did this every day, I was just sitting with Wolly as I watched YouTube videos of fishes swimming around or birds in the air. It calmed me down to watch those videos as I hugged Wolly.

TW MENTIONS FIRE/DEATH
TW PANIC ATTACK

I was sad often, I was happier when I was here. I really missed my parents and cried very often. I had autism and found changes really hard and then in one day I lost everything. It felt like it was my fault, if I wouldn't have pulled my hand away, my parents would have lived.

I started seeing the images of them burn in my head again and felt a tear roll down my face. I started rocking to calm down as everything replayed in my head. I ended up screaming as I hid my ears with my hands.

My mother's beautiful face, I loved her so much. She was gorgeous, she was my best friend as well as my dad. I still loved her, I missed her so much and I hadn't processed it till this day. I missed my dad just as much.

I started crying loudly and saw Wolly coming closer to me. He knew me very well since I visited him every day since I was eleven. Wolly laid down in front of my feet and I hugged him as I cried harder and harder.

I felt my chest tighten and my breathing rhythm fastened as I cried my eyes out. I got closer to hyperventilation and didn't know what to do anymore. I grabbed my phone with terribly shaking hands, clicking my brother's number after tapping wrongly five times.

I listened to the beep sound and heard my brother's voice a second later. 'Hi Clay, what's wrong?'

'Help,' I whispered as I breathed quickly.

'Oh, Clay. Are you having a panic attack again? I'm coming to the farm, are you there?'

'Y-yes.'

'I'm coming.'

Luckily my brother's work was just a few minutes from here. He helped another farmer back in the village. I had once visited his horses and cows, but I liked being with Wolly more.

I curled up like a ball as I rested my head on Wolly's wool and sniffed softly. I missed my parents so much, I wanted to be with them again and wanted to get the image of them burning out of my head. I had so much pain, I was dying from the pain.

After a little, I saw my brother running towards me. He threw his bag on the ground and kneeled down next to me, hugging me against his body as he rubbed his hand on my chest. He knew my chest felt very tight and was hurting when I felt like this, so he tried making me a bit more relaxed while doing that.

TW OVER

My brother kissed my cheek and ran his hand through my hair. 'Calm down, Clay. I know you miss them a lot, but that image in your head happened in the past. It's not happening now.'

I nodded as I sniffed softly and my brother pulled away from the hug. 'I have a surprise for you.'

I looked at him as I felt a tear roll down my face and my brother grabbed his bag. 'I went home to get Wolly for you.'

He showed me my stuffed llama and I smiled, hugging Wolly tightly.

'Wolly the Sheep and Wolly are with you,' my brother smiled. 'And I'm here as well.'

I nodded and rested my head against my brother's chest. 'Is Wolly calming you down?'

I nodded again and my brother lifted me on his lap. I laid down, curled up like a ball as I held him tightly.

'I love you, Clay. I'm very happy that you came to our family. Do you want to look at some pictures of your parents?'

'Y-yes.'

'I was prepared,' my brother smiled as he opened his bag. 'I got your photo book.'

I smiled and my brother opened the book as he started at the first page. We started looking through all the pictures and I told a story about every picture that we saw. I had told these stories ten times already, but my brother still listened to me as I told him about it.

After we looked at all of the pictures, my brother lifted me up and smiled at me. 'Are you a little bit calmer again?'

I nodded. 'Wolly.'

'Do you want to keep him here?'

I nodded again. 'Can we watch an episode of my series again tonight?'

'Of course we can. At nine in the evening there is a soccer match, do you want to watch that together too?'

'Yes, who are playing?'

My brother told me the teams and I smiled. 'About me liking boys,' I muttered awkwardly to start a conversation.

'What's up with that?'

'How do I tell mum and dad? I don't dare to tell them that I like boys.'

'Do you want me to help?'

'Can you tell them?'

'Only if I have your full permission for that. I'm not telling them if you are doubting it.'

'I want you to.'

'Okay, I will,' he smiled and kissed my cheek. 'I'm going back to work now.'

'Okay,' I smiled.

My brother walked away and I sat down with Wolly the Sheep and Wolly as I saw some people walking and a car. They seemed to go to the house connected to the farm.

I saw a boy around my age struggling to walk and I was startled. Who were those random people?

1061 words

Summary:
Clay had a lot of flashbacks and had a panic attack. His brother came from work to him and calmed him down with Wolly and a photo album