Love You Regardless

15

TW's:
-Mentions Clay's trauma

Clay's POV

I stayed in George's room for a while, then I went back downstairs to my brother. I was very happy after I kissed George's cheek and I was going to tell my brother about it when we were going home.

I sat down on my brother's lap and he wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my cheek. 'We are going home, do you have Wolly?'

I held Wolly up and my brother smiled as he stood up. He walked away without saying anything and I went with him to go outside. I quickly said goodbye to Wolly the Sheep and looked at my brother after that.

'Can I tell you a story?'

'Of course, I always like your stories.'

'I was with George and kissed his cheek after I prepared myself for a little. I was blushing a lot and felt a lot of butterflies. I think I like George, because I also want to kiss him on his lips. I didn't dare to do that though.'

'I'm so proud of you, Clay. That must have been very hard for you.'

I nodded and started hopping around. 'I am very happy after I did that. What do I do when I like someone?'

'You can try to flirt a little bit with him.'

'I don't think I know how to do that. George blushed too, I think he's very cute. Do you know how to kiss someone? Have you ever kissed someone?'

My brother smiled and nodded his head. 'I have.'

'Can you tell me about them?'

'I started questioning my sexuality, because I kissed a boy at work.'

I made my eyes big to show him I wanted him to continue and put my thumb in my mouth as I listened to him.

'I was at work a few weeks ago and I had to work with a boy I found quite attractive. He had to lift some boxes, but one of them fell down and I lifted it for him, but we ended up being very close to each other and he kissed me shortly.'

'Is he your boyfriend?'

'He's not, but I do have some feelings for him.'

'How do you kiss someone?'

My brother opened the door to our house and said hello to our parents. We went upstairs after my brother had shortly explained to them what happened. George's dad had denied everything of course.

We went upstairs and I cuddled up with my brother as he looked up the episode. He started talking. 'For me, kissing that boy really just happened. I think this might be a little bit different for you, because you find it a little more difficult. You can ask the boy you're kissing to help you a little bit so you know what to do. It mostly just happens.'

I nodded. 'What do I do with my hands when I kiss someone?'

My brother held his hand against my cheek. 'You can put your hand like this and you can wrap the other one around his neck or waist, or whatever you like.'

'It seems very difficult, but I think I will be able to do it someday. How do I know if George wants to kiss me too?'

'I know you find it hard to recognise those things, so I think it's best to just ask him.'

'Are you proud of me? I was a little bit proud of myself.'

'I'm very proud of you,' my brother said as he placed the laptop with the episode on my lap.

I smiled as I saw the episode, cuddled up with my brother and put my thumb in my mouth as we started watching it. I always looked forwards to this moment, watching my favourite series with my brother.

TW TRAUMA/FIRE/MENTIONS DEATH

We watched for a little as the shot suddenly changed to someone's house. I saw a fireplace in the background and my brother immediately skipped the part, but I felt my eyes fill up with tears. Within seconds I started crying and my brother ran his hand through my hair as he kissed my head after that.

'Calm down, Clay. The fireplace isn't scary, you've sat in front of the fire for multiple times and it only went wrong once.' I sniffed loudly and hid my face in between my brother's arm and chest.

'That's a good fireplace, Clay. Nothing bad is going to happen with the fire.'

'I dropped the stick,' I whispered with tears rolling down my face.

My brother lifted me up and kissed my cheek. 'It wasn't your fault, Clay. You got startled by the fire on your hand and accidentally dropped the poker. You didn't do it on purpose.'

'But mommy and daddy,' I whispered.

'Do you remember what daddy said to you? That mommy is safe in heaven. Daddy is with her now and they are really happy together. I think they are also very proud of you kissing George's cheek today.'

'Could they see that?'

'I'm sure they could.'

I nodded slowly and looked back at the series. 'I'm very sad, I miss them so much.'

'I know, Clay. I wish I could do anything to reverse time, but I can't unfortunately. One day you will see them again!'

The thoughts comforted me and my brother wiped my tears away, handing me a napkin to blow my nose with after that. I blew my nose, cuddled up with him again and watched the rest of my series.

TW OVER

After the episode finished, we watched the second half of a soccer match since it had already started and after that my brother looked up some fish videos as he put my thumb in my mouth. I held Wolly and my thumb in my mouth as I started stimming again. I smiled at my brother and he ran his hand through my hair every now and then.

I ended up being so tired that I fell asleep while watching a video of fish swimming. My brother was hugging me tightly as I fell asleep and I remembered having a smile on my face as I thought about seeing my parents again someday.

1034 words

Summary:
Clay saw a fireplace in the episode and panicked.